Ghost of my heart

The intent of dusk visibly floods the streets, falls on the window panes of nearby houses and circulates my soul.....not to transfer its DNA
but to make clear a new path, a new cause, a new day?

Slender fingers grew warm to the sentiments embroidered beneath its breast
punching unpredictable keys
puppetted by unpredictable thoughts


I sat overwhelmed, foaming with questions on the quest for answers
like a spade digging and digging to the core
one as blind as your eyes but as sharp as your motive
quivering, creeping and infrared
staring and exploring a mind of interest

and yet you are that spade...
unless welded to satisfy a different purpose
will never gather enough... to fathom person, mind nor situation at hand

i dont blame you.....which mortal can?

eyes stare back
for what it already sees
but are you ready to listen to its story?
or is it perhaps you cant endure what.... it..has..to...offer?

i squirmed in restlessness and discomfort
each turn reflecting images of a face one carefully and thoughtfully painted on a paper,
shredded to a million pieces and scattered to its deserving demise...or so i thought
but like your laughs, charm and depth; they have conveniently found each other
by the mending , knitting and weaving of old-interests new !!

here i lay
embracing the progression from bliss to reality
like a child graduating from the myth of monsters in the dark to the age of puppy love
both blooming vague detail but reveals its truth overtime...intime

here i lay
wallowing on the promising trails of a brighter tomorrow
i dwindled, to a numbing shape
in the subtle, hidden confines of my mind

A place once comfortable
Frozen memories of cold dismiss
three of which/whom you are responsible

And now disturbing the dust and dusk of past
that's swept by a feeling that may never last
though mutually desirous of a different start

You are sadly pro-nounced as ... Ghost of my heart!

Proud and free!

Amidst the deep-green fields, stretching to a fainting distance buries the bones and footprints of my forefathers
My toes quivered at the loose dirt dancing under my feet
Throbbing now to the pace of my racing heart beat
I stand proud, black and worthy of this inheritance and rising knowledge to impart

Dark dust rises to re-create muscular, gyrating souls and tireless hands slashing trees, building tents, ploughing fields
And even more tender but weather-beaten hands picking cotton and dragging corn bags
the heavens darken to honor naked skins glistening with sweat
sharp leaves graze on backs throwing a fishing net
On these soaring grounds i stand proud, black and worthy

The offsprings of these hands and strength, drums a Yoruba feat.
Pulsating and gyrating in mad frenzy
Staggering rythmatically, and filling the moment, every chance they get
My people slaved, anticipated and celebrated 1838
the fundamentals of this history bids my soul free
chains burst from my ankles and wrists, freedom bellows through my soul, the mental shackles have been broken
here history unfolds

Drums ramble and rumble by hands young and old

So hang your worries on a shelf and emancipate yoself(twice)
free your minds, leap with your hearts
here is where black history starts
On these soaring grounds i stand proud, black, worthy and free!!

A night to remember...

Here i sit at the center of the moving world
fermenting with excitement, love and lust

My thoughts drifted but cleaved to the five senses like
killer claws wrapped around a scrumptuous feast!

Finger nails buried itself in cushioned furniture
perhaps too deeply as fraying fibres clung to its crevice
i clenched a fist....
fighting a battle with an enemy filling my veins as fast as lightening and as intense as my love

Toe nails sunk in sand as deep as leeches on tender flesh
my mouth widened but pain struck the sound
My flimsy dress... as loose as the action of acetone on hard nail polish; swayed to the tune of the
wind...

A tune that blinds and intoxicates without striking consciousness
like Vodka and orange juice......
ONE TOO MANY

i tried to resist but stifled my senses and caused a collision with my emotions!

CRASH!!!
Smell..Lust!, Touch...Excitement!, See...Love!
they raced like water thrown down a narrow Well
i clasped my feet to suffocate a deep, throbbing of some sort
that wasn't my heart!!
taken by a force; they stumbled and fell
Can never absorb only repel
like a moment's confrontaton with heaven and hell

Hands as soft as full fresh petals.....stretched and cupped my face
And a light.....bright enough to look at and narrow enough to direct a new path

I sat here....imbibed
my vision clear but purpose in formation
the throbbing subsided
focus divided but chanelled in peaceful equilibrium
touching with meaningful insight


blanketed by this... calm night

Retribution of an absent father

Mind and manners expelled the common-laws
too many have suffered his ruthless prevailing clause
But then he walked out on his family
relentless to the soaring possibilty
that this is seed for a fruitful life of misery

He rethinks his purpose but not man enough to face them
shame!!.....rotted in the crevices of his conscience
Curling in a fetal position which served as an emblem
for his ,once, well awaited return
budding comfort...which diminishes as fast as lightening
nothing averts the self-inflicted hurts

inescapable of his past
this lesson he suffers to learn

Tears trickled from the wrinkled contours of his aged eyes
each drop emanating the stench of regret
that lingered since the day he left
a stench which haunts and disturbs his peace
as if... convicted of theft

neglected six boys, three girls and a wife
almost led the woman to use the knife
took a new woman into his life
bearly comprehensive of her identity and her face the pinnacle of vanity
Cursed the hands that fed him
and scourned his bouncing offspring

then walked out
all poisonous fruits of his insanity

now no proper job he keeps
and struggles painfully to heal the flesh deep wounds
by inviting souls of confused identity to share his bed

you see... these wounds transformed to lacerations of disgust and self pity
for these reflected images of his first Be-wed

time passes........
on this bed he lay
the contours on his face deepened
his day as dark as night
future blurred but past bright
this father hopes to find his way...

To...me

Her grace it held my eyes at bay
my chest would start to race
i fumble thinking what to say
i'd blink and see her face

My eyes have seen what Gods could make
that comes from deep within
oh stomach cease thy lustful quake
the arrows took the win

At night i'd close my eyes and try
to get her off my mind
but how i feel through days gone by
her heart i long to find

Misguided

.....she swayed across the room to
.......capture my eyes
........slowly and skilfully to earn
..........her well-deserved prize
............i looked, she shook
..............but the flimsy dress
............... she wore above her knee
..............and under her breast didn't have to speak out
...........because even dim-lights illuminated
........the guy she danced on
.......bore features of a boy-scout
...young enough to be my son
.old enough to be your brother
.....................................................our eyes now four
................................................wondering how could a woman meet
.........................................such an unmentioned score?
.....................................and..who is.. her mentor?
..............................my first visit; her job
........................my damnation; her resolution
.....................she approached and dangled a condom for me to see
.................. brushed her scarf above my knee
.............and flung the contents of the wrapper aside
.........just as she did with her pride and dignity

....a perfect actress
..the world her stage

...a woman who never knew her worth
........and traded her soul for far less
..........than dirt
............HIV POSITIVE
..............Sliding on poles, seducing switched sexes
.... .........clad in torn panty hose
.............HER PERROGATIVE
..........Or maybe not.....
.......you guys figure the rest
.....just remember regardless of your....situation or mess
...NEVER EVER SETTLE FOR LESS

Fantasy

To infringe on principled inheritance

To cast aside and turn attention away from

To endulge in that which had destroyed some

To participate and be idly indiscriminate

like a magnet it pulls closer and closer to your 'lethal' demise



Pin-pricking at your conscience

Pleading for a try.... just once

subtle and exciting

intimate and mesmerizing!!


To drift into a new dimension

Colliding with freaky thoughts of want and self-gratification


Thought upon thought

it lingers......

eyebrows raised in possible extremities

daring minds, willing whispers
clasped legs, creative callings


Opportunity knocks but no one answers

A dream in cloud

almost realistically endowed

by this spirit housed by this skin of black smoke

squirting ink which intoxicates and creates

like a whale caught in a tilapia's net


watching, wishing, waiting

to be:
creeping and striding
dressed and naked
eating and ravenously hungry
fickle and stable

Stroking impulses in a mind so gaily

All emptied in a river of fantasy