Thinking

I sit to think, my thoughts on you
first like dandelions tickling the heads of stunted luscious green
then like "husk" settled in a tainted bowl of farine
served raw one night of drought
where stars glowed timidly and the Vykings',after prayer, slaughtered souls who cursed their mothers and stroked feathery felines on a charcoal steak
then they bruised their knees...to prey again
and beg for strength to ritualise their pathetic faith!!

I shudder to think, my thoughts on you
how ironic!.. they are
like you, once criticizing the taste of rich chocolate sundae
...When you served its contents, orally, to every "smacking" "clapping" colourless jello
sweeter than liquid of unmelted sugar
stirred but stubborn to the cause and blind to the occasion

I stand to think, my thoughts anew
simmering...trembling...kissing??...aching
in favour of a second glance, just to hear you
speak again...listen again...be humane again...tickle my feet again
there's more good in you than "good" in bold
Lose the hat and strangle the Vyking!!...within

In wait of truth

I sit tonight, in wake of truth
My tears are shed in abundance of you
They fall, heavily, to meet with blank pages
Then, sizzle at the fibres of potential passion...touching with the core
of sodden spirits
Often encompassed by mistaken love
staggering at false appraisal...whimpering at linings of "gold" after the melt of "silver"...
kissing hands of mortal deceit...sharing meals with, genuinely, favored twins of
medieval war
Blending sentiments of affection under sheets of sweat...sweet...sweat

I lay in wait, in light of truth
hoping, someday ,to meet with you
To devour your ways..."fingle" with the depth of your eager adrenaline...taste the sensuous secret of literary lips and be washed into the sea, just, to quiver at the sight and sound of my rescue..inevitable

I rest in wait, in light of truth
to stay with you...ramp in the hay with you...sing "hooray!"
vulnerable and defensive,
favoured and offensive
Not on purpose but to rekindle, refine,inflame and ensue
the sweetness of wild grapes...ride on the trannels of sour chocolate??...dive in the legacy determined for heterosexual fancies...fantasies..

To love without thought of drowning dreams...dwindling hope... and suppressing Seeds of Light
To love and to inhale fumes of "crystal meth."...disturb the dirt of saints...
and NOT be afraid of death.

Sweet Kinship

I sat, for the first time, in my sculptured womanly age
Shoulders square and torso erect
voice articulate and hair relaxed, then spun, then relaxed again
My transformations from who i was and where i socialized
were obvious, distinct, fluent and astonishing!

I stared in her eyes of dilated pupils and shifted the tint of loss
her dark, chapped lips cackled in eagerness, "I missed you?"
At...that...moment i jolted to reality to find that, after 15 years of distance, i am touching with the rugged, yet nurturing features of my birth mother

Harnested hatred escaped like the flash of light and tumbled to a demeaning dungeon; bundling with neglect, abandonment and scrappy affection
and shared with it, their dust
Wrinkled eyes now tearful, searched my face; as weather-beaten hands clung to the dingy kerchief, perhaps one retrieved from a dump of dirt in a forbidden place.
Her head covered with a towel, held together by a red string and skin; holding residue of its fabric
as she shivered in a flimsy dress

I stared back; choking on the lump of sound caught in my parched dry throat
I stared back; melting in her " sweet world" of doom and sailing in the ship of contagious, chest-rib, stomach-gritting hunger

"I missed... you too" spilled my response coated with...unconditional love

I found my half, now consciously matching my features with hers

I found hope, bursting from the prison of my breast

We hugged...i cried...she screamed...
and we dried tears of happiness

I was happy...for the first time...

I was happy...

Perpetual Silence

The shores you docked were my domain
For mine, which once, shaken and uncertain were steadied
at peace and obedient and without shame
My world of yours
My thoughts were yours
Your hand held mine
and we were silent
Spoken words, melodious vocals and moist lips
limited our language of passion.....boundless creativity......and picturesque prose

The shores you docked were my domain
where we met ,melt and felt, in shapeless kin
to tame, mould and trigger the art within
and wash my hands of guilt and of sin
In the "deep"; feathery fins, naked halved moons and twigged cocoons were even ours to reap and to keep

The shores you docked were my domain
where silence cleaved to cold chapped lips.....soundless to weary ears....loquacious to frightened squirrels....and belligerent to "clapping-hips"
It....caught my tongue...motioned my fingers...gripped a pen
and channeled an able heart
As, i blissfully swung on the ropes of abstract art

Now your ship has travelled to other "sures"
To touch, heal and calm shaking knuckles
it was then, i rode the rage of Rumpelstiltskin
when i pricked a finger on his machine



Silence......................................

scurried to a narrow-escape...

The love i feel

the nature of love rests on my crisp blue collars
dancing in merriment against the scent of my.....thoughts
i love...the love i feel
the love that's sealed in my chest bouncing like rubber coated sand
on a red carpet...

the nature of love rests on my crisp navy-blue sleeves
screaming for the attention of my distracted....thoughts
to cleave to the hint of hope that it sees
Oh! they dance like "litttle people" gravelling at my painted nails and pedicured feet!!


i love the love i feel
so neat, so beautiful, so real

l love the love i feel...

Drizzle before the rain...

The night is still, the moon follows as fast as my thoughts touch with the sounds of birds
of shadowed bodies

The night is still, but only one third of the moon follows, my mind tries to shrug physicality and spirituality of what dusk spills on a simple soul

My heart captures the nocturnal happenings like the inevitability of gravity

We sat together and I’m reminded of true friendship and affection
Too soon for its extremities to be explored

My mind is erased of all memory and my heart journeys for answers
This confusion is driving me insane!


But who would believe that this is drizzle before the rain?

Your willing, hewn lips dribbled words I want to hear but doesn’t surface reality

I deliberately held your hands just to rekindle what I ONCE felt with a similar "race"

What I saw in another’s eyes………
Momentarily………too discreet but clear enough to recognize its trueness

As my mind compares the present with the past it’s almost impossible to decifer which ground my feet firmly stand…..that physical place of dust or grass
Or the world in which my sub consciousness resides
The world unknown to everyone else but me

But what’s the point in delving in this feeling when it cannot be shared with another?...
I’m baffled at how the human mind operates

On these very grounds my feet grind on its debri to keep level a soul which wanders, cautiously
Seeking worthy material
To inspire, recapture and refocus

One that aspires to bring difference to the table so that the world can
explore and seek to achieve peace of mind

And hope that… this serves two fold…

Grand dad

The metal plates clattered on the swinging bridge when smacked by a riveting four wheeler;cruising down its tedious length. Casting tainted air emanating from the stretch of calm waters; mothering stray matter without a sound of protest. The air faded and it's replacement hugged my senses with gracefulness.

I stuck my head through the window and allowed barely visible particles to brush my face and explore my hair follicles.
The sunset's gleam climbed on luscious green tree-tops which stand crowded on the river embankment and white birds ascended to the skies with their beaks still filled. It was then a familiar voice began to play in my head:



"Bad road, bad road what you gonna do?"

"what you gonna do when they come for you!!"



Roared the husky voice of my riant grandfather, Emile(Eh-mill) London. Driving at caution's pace; well within 40km per hour down a bumpy road leading to our usual Friday afternoon treat. The huge umbrellas, of the urban retreat, blanketed the plastic out door setting as the aroma of chinese food filled our noses.
The yellow teeth, straight- hair, slant- eyed owners always greeted us(my sister and i) with a cup of sweet bubbly aerated drink that popped on our tongues as we sipped in a way we had created and adapted.
Grandad would sometimes spend his time with our indigenous friends and conversed in a language my sister and i usually mimicked.



I shifted in the seat of the bus to occupy the vacant space next to me and smirked at the todler knawing the silk shirt on his mother's shoulders. I was immediately taken back to the house where i spent the first four to five years of my life.

The two-storey brown and white structure of fine wood-work sat on the corner of two roads; only a block away from the Roxanne Burnham Backlands commonly known as the Cane fields. The 'red-brick' roads saddled memories of kite-flying.Also, spills of swank by my sister and i which took place during our slurping and gulping 'fiesta' after a heated chase of "catcha" or riding our tri-cycle.
We caught lizards from our trees and staggered them with a piece of wood. Stole a syringe from our uncle's desk drawer, filled it with tap water and injected the hapless victims until they bloated stiff!!
For our indoor trivia, we playfully smacked grandad's round, firm tummy and sang our favourite nursery rhymes until we were chased to bed.

The yellow rays slid on trees until they were well out of sight and nocturnal creatures sang to call their friends out and send early sleepers to bed. A time that reminded me of my more blissful moments....


Being loved and not spoilt, i took time to sample my grandfather's meals when i mounted on a chair and grinned until i got my satisfying share. Got the largest gift nestled under the christmas tree and received an allowance of 10 cents every Friday to purchase two icicles before he came blowing the horn of his white Mazda 323. He would clean my fingers and dust the fibre from the Day Care mattress, out my ribbon held hair.




His eyes always smiled to brighten up a gloomy day.


His arm of correctness and righteousness was strong and dependable. His nature and character were welcomed by many and i loved him sooo much.


The familiar scent of grazing cows dampened the cloud of my dream. The moist evening sand clung to my naked toes and i swayed, briskly, down the dim lit road; through the neighbourhood i now call home.

A disturbing force of gravity pulled my right leg into a pot hole and i began to sing the chorus from a Saturdy night Tv serial...



"Bad road, Bad road what you gonna do.......?"