Venus' Sheets

In times like these

2012-01-10T07:37:00.001-08:00

In times likethese I live with cuts and bruises that are healed with the truth of sweetverses that nurses and inspires

And reaffirmthe right, the God-given right to the skin I wear...

the skin I’min...

Falling to thefloor is the mask I wear...the clothing without slave imprints to tell who i am

Falling... is themind that is programmed for the western stage

I drop allstereotypes and upheavals and lies about my roots’ struggles and
lies... about....my faith

To ashes I’llwatch the blaze of hate

In times likethese I inhale the incense that burn,

and move tothe rhythm of drums and hum to the melody of a new morn

In these timesI marvel in gleam of colour, and allow my voice to release the tentacles ofprose to weave the fraying fibres of self and heighten minds and

souls tounleash the spiritual being within....

In times likethese i plug my ears and flip....
off the board to plunge and be baptised

Once again... towash, to cleanse, to cure, to love, to embrace

The woman I’mdestined to be...

I hope by nowyou can see... that with....... poetry by my side

I am free....

I want a love

2012-01-10T07:11:00.000-08:00

Iwant a love that tosses me head over heels and under

Onethat is written in novels and drowns my troubles

Andsets my thoughts in tune with the rhythm of my partner

Onethat is painless, boundless, fearless and sober

Iwant a love that would make me laugh....on any note and anywhere...and cry

Crya river flow of happiness and joy

Alove that shows and glows from my hair follicles to my toe nails

Iwant a love that is protected and respected

Onethat shows hope of a silver lining even when all that surrounds is a dark cloud

Likethe shimmer of moon shine on timid ocean waves or the incense of fragrantcandles that entices the senses even.... at... a.... stunted.... crooked.. end

Iwant a love that is real...a love that heals and cures.... heals andcures...heals and cures when my thoughts... are in a mess

Withoutcondition and bitterness

Onlythe wild, secure tumble of volcanic emotion

Andthrough my pen should trickle verses of insight

Alove that is right

Buildme new wings to fly so at times when I can’t walk I’ll soar to the sky

Alove that is instinctive, addictive and faithful

Alove that makes music out of consonants.... (Hummmmmm............ Jill Scott)

Asthe slow rhythmic beat of the drum sink into the melody of soft strings.... ona

SpanishGuitar and.... the harmony of an old polished flute....

Iwant a love that is equal

Foreven as we’re mute and even as we sleep

ourhearts must beat to the heat of a song........... Eternal

Untitled

2012-01-10T07:04:00.000-08:00

How does the incandescent shade mirror the lines,
expressions and wrinkles of veined leaves,
curious eyes and bumble bees....on...Monday

Humid, bright and mundane

My eyes peel against the dimensions of the room but it doesn't..
matter where the wind blows or how the sun sets
my body will remain still to cast the shadow of time

Silence is a microphone for the smooth-feathered flock, over head

and the blades of the fan seemingly clatter to dry...my...tears...
the quiet bunch of keys are bells..........and Silence.....the speakers!

My ears clasp against glass doors to hear the somersault of preserved.....species

Suddenly, i sink even deeper to visualize some semblance of rescue

The raft is rocking now, head submerged but life lingers still...at the surface....
through a straw

"icy" lips dust frost on my cheek and too, strips "naked" and humble...i liked it
for only a while

my fingers shiver to the the intensity of an athletes' heart....but i'll be dry....the sun
will peep out soon and i'll be....

I'll be dry...

Izygavibe

2011-09-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

before the birth of this piece i had a "feeling" for two weeks...to incorporate music, poetry and dancing...then one one night, the "feeling" spoke....

I wish the world can breathe with me!

Sing with me!

Drink with me!

Rhyme with me!

Wishing your vocals can wrap around the falsetto of this verse

And fan into flame a special kind of understanding, holding to the pinnacle a special kind of consciousness

The waves are soft to the touch and melodious to the tune

The tune that palpitates my heart and inflate my lungs

Fill my veins and pop my ear drums

For as long as a minute

For as long as an orgasm

Then deflates, subside............preparing another band of instruments

Here’s where you come in

An orchestra of pianists, guitarists and poets

In sweet harmony cracking the earth with a sound

Gushing to the skies....and bringing to life “Izygavibe”

And to shout it out like the Arawaks do “KANUKUTOA”

Like a warrior, charged with the weapon to rebirth sound substance and not blister

The very souls that follow you, honour you, chime with you, and rhyme with you!

Not to control or dominate but to teach and inspire, refire....

The ash of desires lost and forgotten

Drink with me!

Let poetry be wine

Filling your cup not to the overflow

But just beneath the brim to see the rock of waves, peaceful, favourable and tasteful to the senses

Splashing to intensify the thirst (seemingly baffled) for love and flo-etry

Only then you’ll experience the beauty

Just a sip!!!!.....and you’ll find that you too will let yourself go!!!!

Oh oh!...lol

2011-09-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

They trod on clear brick paths to find their way
Sacked and packed with matching socks, pants and shirts for an afternoon’s stay
Clueless and deaf to what they can do
Twin heads though different ages ranging 4 and 2!

MENACES!!... they seem grumbling and tumbling....screaming and shouting....fighting and kicking
Consciously biding to ignore
but their innocent play swabbed mind cells sore!
Insects, grass, food and glue joined in the fun
As the Epiphany of child psychology captured each awkward movement... one....by....ONE

Cake, chocs and jelly dabbed in their hair
Wondering why I even wanted to care
Carpets, clothes and hands followed in the smear
I watched and watched until to oblivion they stared

At the end I fed them to a quickening doze
And a kite wrapped around them; we were no longer foes
They kissed me and called me mom
I’ll tell no lies!
And we parted on... lengthy-sodden...good-byes

PEACE

2011-09-22T11:16:00.000-07:00

this was written by request and i thought i'll have to paint a picture of "innocence" to represent the title....here goes!

I am as light as a feather brushing the heads of soft buttercups,

Blowing a whisper to calm frightened mammals,

Allowing the melody of my voice to transform indoctrinated nations

I am a vessel of change

Unravelling a unique sense of beauty, nurtured by my friends and family,

but as images in my society cloud my sanity

I stand firm in the storm of fatalities, false affection, deceit and rejection

For in the narrow view of self

We strangle the strength that is, the vision that is and the love that is...within

May the way of kind instruction ignite your innermost and quench the flame of frustration

show discretion where due

Give anonymously

Guide the hand only two months new, fight fire with water, hug don’t shrug the shoulder that supported you

Orchestrate the anxieties of the heart into a new voice

Allow the birth of a new melody to release the choice of harmony

Situations

2011-09-22T11:12:00.000-07:00

With every gesture, shout, scream I’ve witnessed your spirit nailed to the cross!

Raped, stripped and scraped of your own tolerance,

of your own bearings

Mocking the sad, pretentious, rebellious clothing that gathers the dirt from a seasoned scape- goat!

Do find it in your heart to forgive an apologetic, over active heart that tries to grab the occasion as it comes

Alter the seed before it begins to bear fruit

Forge affection for sincere compliments

Strangle the tongue housed by strong vocals

Wither at the thought of mere, confrontation

Borrow the mists of confident men

And then bruise them

lives in bliss

Cooking, cleaning, lying, dancing, singing, blaspheming, laughing, cussing

For the bible specifies that the habit of one is just as bad as the habit of all

Basking in attention and others...... I wouldn’t mention

Plant and cultivate happy memories that I quickly forget

Run from the reflection that reminds me of my attributes

An equal set

My hands are stretched to meet with you

And find resolve for a trifling two

For I’ve succeeded in changing you

My twin other

I’ve found, explored and spat the bitterness of your words and hugs

Now embracing the likeness that wean us

And bury the monster that separates us

Forgive me soon

And i’ll honor the man you are

i’ll set ablaze the star you are

Merci for being bold

Situations

I wish he knew my god

2011-09-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

His twist and turns in a carouselfrenzy revealed he was confused

Bruised shoulders and elbows,scraped knees and toes

were only the surface of his wounds

Exists but hardly alive, his cursemy demise

Cries....buried beneath his chest

His tummy empty...didn’t haveplenty so he settled for less

His story I’ll never know...butwhat does it say of the veins bulging from his feet, hear dabbed with dirt,wearing a woman’s skirt and his friends

Crack and cocaine

I wish he knew my God, had he sipped the wine and nibbledthe crumb of life

He’ll use his knife only to cut hisblessings: 3 to 3000 baskets of fish and bread

There would be plenty if he satwith me at communion

And it would be the next best thingto his rum

For habits don’t change overnight

Then soon it would be no rum

The sun....will shine on him soblindingly to generate and perpetuate his faith

I wish he knew my God, our god....his song would be...[i will nothunger!!! I will not beg for bread!!]

I’d love him like Christ loved, hughim like Christ sat next to and embraced sinners: hypocrites, drunkards andthieves

I’d brush the dirt and leaves offhis shoulders and cast away his gun

I would nurse where it bleeds, andthose wounds would heal

I would give him life, new birth asif he were my son

The robe of righteousness would bethe best garment he’d own

Gone would be those nightsthat were so cold...and those loud moans for a hand to hold

Healed would be his back!...healedwould be those... bones

I wish he knew our god

Now sitting on his throne

Then crack and cocaine would be nolonger be his friends....he’d survive the impossible like David did in thelion’s den

I would have him pray for mebecause the man he was! He is no more !!

I would be happy for his delivery

For mine would have been fromthe time I opened my door!!

Dreaming

2011-08-15T12:49:00.002-07:00

We lay as the petals of a dandelion
kissing heads, touching thoughts, holding still, able feet
war breaks but no one fights,
weapons grew blunt,
tongues transform the rush and heat....

why must we journey the universe of mass and matter?
when the answers are floating earnestly
in synchrony with meaning...filtering you and filling me....us

we dream to capture the dew of hope, happiness and compassion
we dream to remind ourselves of the push and pull of form
we dream to propel against tainted norms

we dream because..... very few... do...

The struggle

2011-05-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

Lips pursed to imprison the protest of a hot, sizzling afternoon under the sun
her....shoulders slouched, clothing stiff and matchless perhaps to symbolize the 'slaps' with a wooden stave at the bottom of a nearby trench

Her toes cringed from touching the road; hot and humid to give an illusion of a slipper that fit....just right...
She clutched the handle of an umbrella beside an electric post...waiting for her pick up...bus drop
with whom she'll negotiate a penny less of the actual cost
wouldn't mine being pulled in by the cop

Her eyes overflowed with "tears of the sun" yes the movie ...replaying the film through each gesture, squint, blink...

But, on the flip side, she has company....

Tall, dark, parched, llively, 'silly'...collectively they rewrote the pages of history:
neat row, clean shirt; no dirt, long pants that brushed his ankle revealing deep cracked heels...a
picture that hastily reminded the bulge of his left eye and chipped tooth!
"Sophia! Sophia !" the louder he said it the faster the crowd piled in warm seats.

..... this man....that woman....his cracked heels...

her cringed toes...her squint...his chipped tooth

"Kunta kinta"....."Coolie mudda"

Slavery.....Indentureship

i watched in oblivion out of the sun; through different lens

I respected their push, energy, necessity... to keep on keeping on

Their necessity.... to keep on... keeping on

keep on...keeping on(echoe)

..

Love is....

2011-05-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

It seems as if i can wrap myself around the toss 'n' tumble of pungent memory as long as there is love... and... poetry

Memories i can't simply forget like William shakespeare and Juliet, Macbeth? though his story different....
It was written by a poet of love and if that's what spewed from his pen ....then that's how he'll always be remembered

If... that's what spewed from his pen...then... that's how he'll always be remembered

....why... do i unravel and travel along the painless, effortless journey of what was real epiphanising, uncompromising.....realising that

pages glared to resuscitate the life and perpetuate the resounding voice of a naive 16 year old describing love as if 61!

what can she possibly know?...i questioned myself.... but it occurred to me that love is youth... in an emotional, devotional way...

you know what it is when its found, explored and experienced....

Love is addictive, attractive and reactive

Love has no weather; it's a silly hat above rediculously huge yellow goggles frowning at the sun and dancing under the moon

love is a song that wouldn't end soon

Love is as simple as a breath of fresh... air

Love, like a clock, ticks as long as ...the heart... permits

Love is the slow, rhythmic beat of the drum... sinking into the melody of soft strings on a spanish guitar and.....saxophone......the play of an old polished flute... especially when the characters are mute

Love is an antiquated wine; intoxicating, riveting and quenches the thirst for knowledge and introspection

Love is as beautiful as knowing God

God is as beautiful as knowing love

Love is giving without weakening....it's giving in excess

Love resembles nothing, wears nothing but bears all beneath the steel walls of our breast

Love is never captive but free

Love is grateful for that 16, 61 year old who thought that.....

Love is..... always.... faithful

Toxi kiss

2011-01-24T12:55:00.000-08:00

It's inhumane not to notice the thrill of things abstract and unreachable

The touch of elements unspeakable

The whisper of thoughts unthinkable

For in the wind of all that has to be, its dust cleaves and weaves without fray

As mortal souls rebuke stray

Toxi kiss
Its softness n stickiness lingers

its stain infects and perplex willing 'casts'

enveloping the moving world and to an unforbidden place then cast...it lasts for as long as you want

perpetuates memories of more to come

congratulates the toss and tumble of intimacy and childish fun!

Toxi kiss
mesmerizing the language 'french'

as savoring souls clench... to a warmth... to forget where, when and why
the world exists among lifeless planets

the journey of continues as lips wrestle to transfer the inexplicable
moisture gripping the affable...

tugging gently with an innocent attempt to intoxicate and invigorate

Toxi kiss
Realizing only the smear of spontaneity

engulfing an oral somersault

Eluding the thirst 'n' quench of fermented malt

exploring and exploring the perfection of fault, then to perfection again

The journey is almost never ending as all dreams must come to a halt...

Manaka: a jungle experience

2011-01-23T13:32:00.000-08:00

A similar number appears, all groggy from the previous night's supper
they trailed down 'n' up steep slopes
to....re-assemble and struggle to keep eyes peeled and thoughts alert
wishing and hoping that the journey's theme can convert

HURT is an acronym for weakness
no space for dreaming, too little time to stand still
as the breeze fetch the potent scent of crushed insects and fresly cut leaves to make way
though sunshine warms the surrounding moisture
the weather is perfect to make hay

The clock ticks with personalities as shouts n mumurings NOW contribute to the fog "skid trail!" ......"chop away from the skid trail!!!"
Voices heightened, the feeble frightened that this may never end!
Hunger visits; then moves in without warning

Heavy boots tarry, worry subsides to anxiety
but nature, though ignored, beckons her soothing sounds as weary souls make their rounds: back n forth....back... n... forth
OTHERS....growing bored n numb
nibbling on a crumb

The crowns of trees shook as chilly winds drew near
"only the bottom of the lianas!"...."leave them hanging!"

soon they finished with the tape flagging, then tumbled in muddy trucks
As dazed eyes dragged on sodden tracks
eager to be closed and rested in chilly-warm hammocks!

Bitter-sweet

2011-01-06T11:38:00.000-08:00

The steam from my cup fills my nose
Bearing the aroma of cream and ground tea
Raindrops splatter on my sill
As other “characters’ suddenly...grew...still

Peace stirs too filling and animating normal fingers, normal thoughts 'n' a busty heart
Raindrops splatter still to remind hearts of the newness and richness of flow
Slow-ly defining the reason for rain; washing aching shoulders, soothing congested thoughts, bathing feeble knees rocking... to... n...fro’

Chirping, crowing, quacking all heightened and aired as a choir
Gathering sounds of soul and culture fulfilling my moment’s desire

Surreal moments brew reminding me of ......
I’ve received your message, before the alarm screamed two!
SOMEONE shook my bed! But it was only my little sis’
Pondered on the word that somehow rhymed with...
Thought of a symphony and sealed with a....tinge of bitterness

A crack of light bent through my door
I squinted my eyes and your message touched the floor
i turned to assimilate other verses leaping to a clue
and rest...my washed soul...mouthing soft whispers of... “I’VE MISSED YOU TOO”

Liberty

2011-01-06T11:36:00.000-08:00

My steps drew near the “form” locked, erect and focussed
Every staggering step reflected the shivers of a different soul
Cold, lazer penetrated, but certainly supported, magnetized,
monopolized by the air of difference
A different kind of difference; organised and purposeful

I pretended to ignore the realness, sever again severed strings, tug again at strands of pre- combed hair, scrub walls that linger the stain of pungent memory
Then to reality again, I moved... once again ...taking with me his silhouette
I wouldn’t forget....I promised myself...to record this moment
I wouldn’t ignore....I scolded myself, what contributes to my liberty

2010...

2011-01-06T11:32:00.000-08:00

Fingers twiddling in awkward synchrony

Twist and turns in subtle epiphany
Moments escaping as fast as idle thoughts

A separate dimension, a separate world, a separate spoken word
Legs shift with lies
eyes peel with cries
Demise....an ellipsis for lengthy thinking
Fingers clutched, thoughts sinking

The moment comes but still a stone
I’m here but if you pound my toes you wouldn’t find a bone
Alone...and grinding against the ridges of too much sunshine no! too much rain
Maybe both...wishing for more in betweens and the smother of unusualness
Liking the scent of normalcy
but too much of one thing is good for the cemetery

Breaking point...

2011-01-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

Quarter now but destined to rotate revealing once again
It’s cutting brightness, separating two worlds
But connecting them yet again on a level ...subliminal

Another verse, another poem
When would the madness end!!!!
Like the sun that rises in the east and sets in the west
My thoughts are renewed, my limbs are able and my clothing without intention but continues to root reason:
For question, for conversation, for explanation

I’m overwhelmed not by the things I wanted to be gullible about
Not for the plea of need “reflected” from your eyes
But why you never fought...for me...
Why!... ATLEAST the weave of friendship didn’t reflect ....and why “they” termed it “lies”
Cries...now screams transformed its volume silently

My chest palpitates rhythmlessly
My feet fit into “prints” that were held in perfect condition
Prints of past; I’m reliving a life to my own “detriment”
Anticipating my “death” to be risen from the ashes once again

My question is “how many times must I die...to you?”
What are you...if not my friend...?

Salon...!

2010-12-20T11:04:00.000-08:00

The chill of the evening air circulates almost unconsciously
to commune the characters of the atmosphere

The moon is ideally in its premature phase but bids souls alike to be matured...in time, in memory, in harmony...
Characters in company, imbibe the rise n fall of moments in glee, short smirks, few frowns as the air fills my lungs!

My knee! touches the surfaces of a cushion demanding 3 bills!
1 for the fingers tugging my hair and 2 for the fingers wallowing near...

Consequently, growing numb ...i don't care where...the moon turns
or how the air thickens the follicles of my nostrils!

I'm imbibing now the corners of my own world

Biting my lips not to spilll worry
stretching my legs to relieve tension
closing my eyes to surrender....
the tubers of anger
and bud new colours of glee!!

the salon and me...

la musique

2010-11-12T15:55:00.000-08:00

Saxophone, trumpet, drums....the 'Sombah'
The beat....builds and builds...sticks enclosing in their diameters on flat steel
The curtains are blown, with the minds of musicians, the souls of listeners
tap...their...feet..to...the...beat
spinning...smiling...clapping...rocking...enclosing....
Picture perfect
and memorable

Trumpets sound their rhythms, i kicked some bags.... grinning
as they switched... from classical to jazz
my thoughts are aloft competing with other 'soar climbers'
Piano....oooh.....my skirt spun in swing of rising excitement

Fingers, masculine...collage?.. the nape of my neck then travelled to meet with ripple nerves slithering, too, to the base of my torso
the moment's aglow, two...smothered in gusto
no clue....only spontaneous
the rhythm contain us, INSANE US, sweeping duss'
off the floor then the roof

The tempo rises to a sudden stop!......silence ........................................................
with it went my flare...mental flare...moment's fanfare
My shoes swayed with my knees, then shoulders...
puppeted, only, by memory
my eyes...communicated inexplicably!

I grinned, leaning my forehead on a familiar shoulder
now calm, in synchrony, truth ?...a monopoly

For after all, the world was 'forsaken' the music had taken....us
through a moment's..... dance......

RAGE

2010-11-08T07:52:00.000-08:00

Pungent now, staining and infecting all surrounding
An entity of unresolved hate, unquenched thirst, and fire inextinguishable

Influenced but rejects for selfish gains
a 'fixation' subtle within a character that overshadows
not even mammary hands can mould it
she screams to compound, she pushes to bully, she withers at the mere release
of TRUTH

The truth hurts
"blood' flows and heats to meet with an irrational heart
sobbing to generate empathy
sobbing to attract mercy
and to its fortune, disembodied hearts melted and fed

These hearts, though relentless to past happenings , bears the fury of the repeated, the overly endulged, the bulge of discomfort, the 'lump' of a product selfish and pompous

my 'judgement' may be draconian
my palms moist of the 'unspoken'
my thoughts perhaps connected to the undisturbed, unbroken bloodline
but my intentions are contrary and passive-aggressive

until i'm weary, this shall it be !!
until i'm weary, this shall it be!!

Surreal....

2010-10-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

Peering through the prison of my fingers is a package: 'pregnant', paired n imperfect!

A package surrendering and serving a world that thirst for vision n hunger for peace!

Consuming and dispensing...believing and rebuking the mass of catostrophic thoughts, insignificant memories n repulsive events!

I'm washed and liberated by "A moment in time"
I'm possessed by the scripts in manifest...je ne comprends pas! mais...my visions are profuse
there's no use...

i am oddly identified with those in similar 'dungeons' bearing the ray of introspection, stretching to rehabilitate, remind n reconcile

i am identified as a vessel bearing the weight of others and setting myself peripheral.

i am identified with my coloured colleagues
who know not the gleam that emanate from their smiles...who know not; the effect in retrospect to my condition, my ambition...my understanding...my peace

surrounded by the unborn, the infant-minded n the mature

I am a seed from the past...harvest of the present...feast of the future

I am a seed from the past...harvest of the present...feast of the future!

replica

2010-10-29T10:50:00.000-07:00

Carefully...'they lay'... side by side....even...aligned...undisturbed...focused
like the synchrony of birds soaring high...an army of marching ants...converging rays

I'm supported.. by the verses that leak willingly, favourably to satisfy its oblivious intent.
as the 'window shopper', my face is pressed against the transparency of your world yet stumbling n well entwined in your vision, your ink, your soul...

In focus.. with your wants needs and needs wants...'aligned' i hear your voice
i feel the 'spew' of past and 'hold' of the present!

i feel the reluctance in your 'tug' to sever...unreel...recap?
I'm drawn n dragged by your resistance puppeted by a place against your mortal will

I'm here! nestled...fetal...untouched..unurtured, clutching, waiting, too, for 'chosen' hands to brush n moisten the parch of distance...disconnection...distraction...disparity?

I'm here to fulfill my involvement
I'm here to complete the unfinished
I'm here because...U...called...

Coke 'n' Cream

2010-10-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

The melt of kinship smothered the evening!
The guard of neighbouring eyes widened, brows raised, joining with peculiar personas
frowns and smirks
Us...sips and burps to gratify the spill of fondness....
Like two peas in a pod!....heckles n “kicks”
Holding a pen but overflowing with emotions of 10

From a 'party' to a 'crowd'
From planned to spontaneous!
“Attraction” soon entered the circle
First hesitant then surrendered, too, with a heckle loud
time ran with laughter,
cream licking , coke gulping fun!
The wing of procrastination revisited
As the time to depart sagged the merely acquainted heart

We walked while the tongue of flattery coloured my hair among other reserves:
For after all we talked... interpersonally

"Bombarded by the times we spent so dearly..so unusually"

As disappointments emanated yet again
Bringing the “fanfare” to a sudden end
I gripped my pen

Resting to reassure “I can only be... your friend....”

sgnirtS evreN

2010-10-13T08:21:00.000-07:00

From campus to cafeteria the wind of anxiety and woe fogged a feminine soul
Sharp words trickled from familiar lips to prepare for future reservations
The wind of silence swept and clung to clear nostrils
Oblivious to the fact that those things new will soon wither old!

Fidget... fradget ...fridget...fradget
Silence!...the one medium which defined us
Now poisonous... as the snap and fray of strings
Dwindled to an eventful habit...fidget
Once more in eerie murmurings I’m bitingly fearful
Of the being in focus

Your appearance was as blurred as your speech...
For after the utterance of “SAVOUR”
I had a gleam of hope and I surrendered to autobiographic detail
Detail I longed to tell you from the very beginning!!
but nothing had prepared me for this baffling bit
which threw my senses in a complete fit and curtailed the evening disgustingly SOUR

From blurred to in explicable you grew to me
Why didn’t you just tell me as it should be?
How am I to fathom in a moment like this
that the “SEVER” you said wasn’t the SAVOUR I heard?
How am I to take the SEVER you said and
rest......... peacefully in bed?

I simmered not in anger but in haste
for events outward became inward
Only to continue the fog of discomfort
Beginning to think my confusion was shared
When you dared not consult “HE” who declared!

In my moments of solitude I prayed for us...for you
You must have known the outcome
If you failed to do
For the task at hand wasn’t one of delicacy... may-be... that way for some
I’m disappointed... for you filled me up...and didn’t bother to notice
what was in your “cup”

I’ve grown weary to your way; idiosyncratic
To recline n sublime to the misfortune of two
I WAS REKLINDLING THE FLAME OF....(I’M SURE YOU KNEW)
For nothing good is acquired easily
I can only wish you well...
I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that your future “incline”
would not be done...similarly.

VINDICATE ME...

2010-10-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

The paths I trod on are damp at the surface, stagnant beneath and brick hard at the bottom,
Each staggered step triggers the voluminous siren of my soul
How much more, O Lord, must I endure?
Is this the product of my prayer!...or my peculiarites?

The paths I trod are sinking hopelessly, swallowing a hapless victim!
My heart ’wells’ in pain, O Lord, I yearn for the ‘tug’ of my ‘lines’ to remind me of your everlasting presence
Speak to me ’O Lord, what more should I do
to prepare, repair, interfere....and ensue

Omnipotent Redeemer! I’m trapped in my own kindness
I’ve prayed, not in anticipation for this season
Without warning! my hopes, my expectations, my love?
Has been cast aside by the very photographic hands that inspired them
How am i to know i wasn’t ready?
Isn’t this what you planted?

Almighty healer, hear my cry before I’m too sodden and saturated to peel, pull and give again
I loved because I felt it
I loved because it came from the ‘guttermost’ of my heart
I loved because you loved me first!

And i can only give what you had bestowed
your intentions, I KNOW, are not for me to understand
but couldnt it had been different? delicate?
why instead...raw? n draconian?

I revealed myself not to petition for a position
but to clean my spotted, speculated end of the coin
stamped, scraped, spat' n smothered; seemingly reflecting the contrary
the contrary to your worship, your beliefs, your home...!

From a switch... to... a circuit of tangled wires, fraying insulation and a missing fuse!

but unlike man and all that dribbles from his mortal lips
My God will repair, renew and make whole.... again

I wish you well

My friend

I wish you well

25th September,2010

2010-10-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

The toss of winds past, cleave to memories of characters present
The hint of happiness, the quench of an ongoing thirst, the ray of light to reveal the falsehood of destined darkness
Give rise and right now to telepathic souls

We’ve met at intervals to rekindle these memories
Memoirs than memories where you’d talk and i’d listen
Where you’d write and i’d listen
When we’ll hug and i’d listento your thoughts....to your rhythm... to your beat
The clash of similar interests, mutual comfort and the nature OF LOVE

And while we were apart
My concerns grew to overwhelm other “sanctuaries”
Intimate n acquainted...kin n integrated
Only to save a portion of my world to accommodate your return
Until that space grew narrower gradually grappling with reality
Until comparable with that of a magnet
only to attract pessimism, doubt...AND WORLD PEACE

Tarrying no more on those barren grounds
Alas!! You have returned
To share again...laugh again....gaze at the moon again
Tickle my feet again....i’m writing again
This feels right again
Eagerly anticipating adventures of this new chapter
I’M EVEN MORE CURIOUS WHAT’LL HAPPEN AFTER

Inspiration

2010-10-13T07:51:00.000-07:00

I imagine...! The gleam in your eyes.

The fix of your stare to question a certain phenomenon

Like you: intricate and intimate, tender and teasing, seasoned and simple, affable and comparable with... the shimmer of moonshine on wavy “ice”

I stand to beckon my whole inspiration...two in one!
The 1 to my SONG AND VERSE.

Like planets that co-exist but of separate worlds.
Representing one body ...one soul...one sign

Me and “1” or you and I...GEMINI

To you...

2010-10-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

You must have thought that i've forgotten you
but you're my dear cheeky lil sis'
well!.. it would be a shame if you believed that to be true!

i can't baby you with nice talk anymore for unlike your age
your mind is climbing soar!

you're Vivacious.....Assertive...naturally Cool...Queer......Unpredictable and cannot be taken for a fool!.....Energetic...Lure-acratic(the meaning speaks for itself) i can go on but i'll be saving the rest for myself
i wish you well in all you do and looking forward to even more eventful days
like this where i can simply scribble a rhyme or two!

Happy 21st Birthday and may the lord continue to richly bless you...!!

Memoir...

2010-10-05T06:05:00.000-07:00

I can still feel the imprints of your fingers pressed against my shoulders
like a peck on the cheek, a sip of caribbean blue on a humid afternoon, a humorous gesture after the feed of sad news, or simply the consolation to calm, cool 'n' reassure another

I love you still
I don't know if this will change , but to stop would mean
stop thinking
stop reading
stop writing
stop......believing

Lashed and bruised to penetrate the unseen....
uproot the hidden and cripple the tangible

I called but you seem too inclined to your own world and your...way only resting to emerge the inexplicable!!
I'm naked ....trying to "bend" with limp limbs and a strangled " dumb-bell" to clothe myself

now you've left me with your world, your moon, your love, your coldness, your coolness, your seccrets......all nestled in my heart!

i've squirmed, squeaked, squealed, freaked, leaked in ways unimaginable
but it'll take more than my pen
it'll take more than my text to rekindle sentiments of my poet friend.

it'll take ownership to forget you to BE my lover
It'll take GOD to overcome my groping, my meekness
It'll take god to overcome you!

These words emerged from the past...buried in the present..... to be harvested in the future

Signed:Overflowing

Reminiscent....

2010-09-28T09:52:00.000-07:00

Tossing...turning...more tossing....now tired turning
My eyes, stung by fiery yellow fingers which paved its way throughout my room; squinted to the light, then held shut tight
My sub conscience..! roamed along the memorable path of last night's proceedings.
A phone call which lasted for a minute or two....
A familiar voice even though "shaded", miserably "conversated" (it rhymes) which i'm sure stemmed from a "midnight's" dew...

(uhmm...let me see)

"Fingers" now mischievously clutching my head
"Get up!"....i swear i felt a puff of steamy air!
meddling, aimlessly through my now damp hair

"Off the bed" it continued, in passive violation

Oh my god....i wondered, is this my revelation?!

i sat up, fully conscious!....a name....a voice...a name...a voice
with hands grasping tightly on white overalls...searching, thinking, browsing, omitting then in sudden outburst
"who could be this ferocious?!"

"Sweet pea?" full lips whispered, then continued, " it has to be!"
If so!!....dear god, how can i flee?
eyes quickly captured the mobile mediator, a smile unfolded, pulse abnormally palpitated
"this ought to do it" i thought. if not, then what?
I waited for a response, three minutes m-a-y-b-e less
enough to notice that my bedroom was a complete mess
two hours?...(probably exaggerated) but you need to be here to know
that there's nothing nice about waiting whilst pacing to' n fro'

Finally i punched the numbers...a voice ....THE voice! i hesitantly conversed
Toying, giggling...then i hung up. Not an ounce of satisfaction ONLY worsened my thirst!

I sat and reminisced lenghtily, then went for a bite
frowned with sheer pessimism then grumbled
"Maybe tomorrow...........i'll fight"
signed: November 2008

Thinking part 2

2010-08-27T08:06:00.000-07:00

Has the thought ever crossed your mind
that what you're up against is something powerful hence challenging
your status as an individual?

the evolution of the mind and body through psychological and physiological experiences
the revolt of disappointments that question your destiny
the emptiness of worldly objects that you trust in instead of the richness of your
instincts...your being...your soul

but i've learnt that human beings establish a sense of purpose not only for praise and recogniton
but to self actualize, and hopefully develop inner peace
when freedom is suppressed, mankind is limited and ineffective

i am powerful!
i feel the twist and turns of a pending discovery...every single day
no one knows exactly what determines the ideal cut of key
so rely not on your worldly influences
but seek utterances, shrugs, whispers, smirks in low key
strive to be attentive
because this triggers the voluminous voice in self
hold on to that which jolts the spirit in you and let it lead
who knows where you may end up

Abstract

2010-08-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

The room trembles with my roaring emotions
not because of its contagiousness but in effort to restore that which
I've buried, abandoned and banished

....the world and woes can be congruent as events repeat itself
i found something but i have only a narrow inclination of its nature, its depth and its intentions
for they come from mortal lips
but deep beneath my bossom,
a tiny voice resounds" keep it"
and try to explore its crevices long enough so that at the end...if at all
they are no regrets...

"Chocolate chip cookies"

2010-07-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

We’ve met before in times of happiness and seasons of yore
We’ve met before… when his features were unattractive and boyish and my innocence allowed only this to engulf timid adolescent pleasures
Those of grins n greetings…favours n meetings unplanned
We’ve met before and conversed in more real ways than real is described

From associates to friends n friends to…
We’ve met, but, this time by charm on munch of chocolate chips
Only now revealing the mind of "one"… to show emotions through selfishness and damned the
Inevitable of another …

I was forced to conceal… for I’ve become selfish too, at the cost of my “reputation” by indulging his whispers and charm
His whispers different…seemingly dreamy… and we touched!!
My hands dampened at the thrilling sense of his finger tips, teasing grips and thin moist lips
We’ve met…but… this time different, after the feed of chocolate chip cookies
Like its contents, we haplessly melt n kiss’t
We’ve felt… the rage of subtle flames
Which now makes sense …”nothing comes from nothing”

The metamorphosis of childish games
The tumble of dust off shoulders soon after the quiver of a mid night feat.
And tho’ we’ve met afterwards... silence was enough to say the least
I may regret this bliss!…tomorrow
But today…I want to be missed!

Winds of Time

2010-05-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

The residue of dust bearing the colour and scent of yester year settled on stiff hands

stiff to hold a pen or punch a letter

"why?" one may ask herself

Did it take the tainted air of the midnight's dew, or the nauseated view of images
smothering every passing hour which
lulled to days then weeks; pending months
until the spirit of inspiration re birth?!

why?
favourable turns cultivated unfavourable events
to abandon that which gave life
which ,inturn, buried the seed of misery
and its fruit, harvested

I sat twiddling my thumbs
gazing at the moons" for hope
but time had taught me a lesson
no matter which direction or distance of escape"
Destiny will always bite you in the a... the rear

to unfold again,

see again,

hear again,

write again...

I have all hope that i found my "red ink" pen

and not the comouflage of a feather immersed in coloured oil

i sit to bear the sentiments of past and allow the seasons and pages

to re develop, re create and re focus

only this time

I'll let it be...

Thinking

2010-02-04T10:00:00.000-08:00

I sit to think, my thoughts on you
first like dandelions tickling the heads of stunted luscious green
then like "husk" settled in a tainted bowl of farine
served raw one night of drought
where stars glowed timidly and the Vykings',after prayer, slaughtered souls who cursed their mothers and stroked feathery felines on a charcoal steak
then they bruised their knees...to prey again
and beg for strength to ritualise their pathetic faith!!

I shudder to think, my thoughts on you
how ironic!.. they are
like you, once criticizing the taste of rich chocolate sundae
...When you served its contents, orally, to every "smacking" "clapping" colourless jello
sweeter than liquid of unmelted sugar
stirred but stubborn to the cause and blind to the occasion

I stand to think, my thoughts anew
simmering...trembling...kissing??...aching
in favour of a second glance, just to hear you
speak again...listen again...be humane again...tickle my feet again
there's more good in you than "good" in bold
Lose the hat and strangle the Vyking!!...within

In wait of truth

2010-02-04T09:20:00.000-08:00

I sit tonight, in wake of truth
My tears are shed in abundance of you
They fall, heavily, to meet with blank pages
Then, sizzle at the fibres of potential passion...touching with the core
of sodden spirits
Often encompassed by mistaken love
staggering at false appraisal...whimpering at linings of "gold" after the melt of "silver"...
kissing hands of mortal deceit...sharing meals with, genuinely, favored twins of
medieval war
Blending sentiments of affection under sheets of sweat...sweet...sweat

I lay in wait, in light of truth
hoping, someday ,to meet with you
To devour your ways..."fingle" with the depth of your eager adrenaline...taste the sensuous secret of literary lips and be washed into the sea, just, to quiver at the sight and sound of my rescue..inevitable

I rest in wait, in light of truth
to stay with you...ramp in the hay with you...sing "hooray!"
vulnerable and defensive,
favoured and offensive
Not on purpose but to rekindle, refine,inflame and ensue
the sweetness of wild grapes...ride on the trannels of sour chocolate??...dive in the legacy determined for heterosexual fancies...fantasies..

To love without thought of drowning dreams...dwindling hope... and suppressing Seeds of Light
To love and to inhale fumes of "crystal meth."...disturb the dirt of saints...
and NOT be afraid of death.

Sweet Kinship

2010-02-03T07:39:00.000-08:00

I sat, for the first time, in my sculptured womanly age
Shoulders square and torso erect
voice articulate and hair relaxed, then spun, then relaxed again
My transformations from who i was and where i socialized
were obvious, distinct, fluent and astonishing!

I stared in her eyes of dilated pupils and shifted the tint of loss
her dark, chapped lips cackled in eagerness, "I missed you?"
At...that...moment i jolted to reality to find that, after 15 years of distance, i am touching with the rugged, yet nurturing features of my birth mother

Harnested hatred escaped like the flash of light and tumbled to a demeaning dungeon; bundling with neglect, abandonment and scrappy affection
and shared with it, their dust
Wrinkled eyes now tearful, searched my face; as weather-beaten hands clung to the dingy kerchief, perhaps one retrieved from a dump of dirt in a forbidden place.
Her head covered with a towel, held together by a red string and skin; holding residue of its fabric
as she shivered in a flimsy dress

I stared back; choking on the lump of sound caught in my parched dry throat
I stared back; melting in her " sweet world" of doom and sailing in the ship of contagious, chest-rib, stomach-gritting hunger

"I missed... you too" spilled my response coated with...unconditional love

I found my half, now consciously matching my features with hers

I found hope, bursting from the prison of my breast

We hugged...i cried...she screamed...
and we dried tears of happiness

I was happy...for the first time...

I was happy...

Perpetual Silence

2010-02-02T07:34:00.000-08:00

The shores you docked were my domain
For mine, which once, shaken and uncertain were steadied
at peace and obedient and without shame
My world of yours
My thoughts were yours
Your hand held mine
and we were silent
Spoken words, melodious vocals and moist lips
limited our language of passion.....boundless creativity......and picturesque prose

The shores you docked were my domain
where we met ,melt and felt, in shapeless kin
to tame, mould and trigger the art within
and wash my hands of guilt and of sin
In the "deep"; feathery fins, naked halved moons and twigged cocoons were even ours to reap and to keep

The shores you docked were my domain
where silence cleaved to cold chapped lips.....soundless to weary ears....loquacious to frightened squirrels....and belligerent to "clapping-hips"
It....caught my tongue...motioned my fingers...gripped a pen
and channeled an able heart
As, i blissfully swung on the ropes of abstract art

Now your ship has travelled to other "sures"
To touch, heal and calm shaking knuckles
it was then, i rode the rage of Rumpelstiltskin
when i pricked a finger on his machine

Silence......................................

scurried to a narrow-escape...

The love i feel

2009-11-24T08:55:00.000-08:00

the nature of love rests on my crisp blue collars
dancing in merriment against the scent of my.....thoughts
i love...the love i feel
the love that's sealed in my chest bouncing like rubber coated sand
on a red carpet...

the nature of love rests on my crisp navy-blue sleeves
screaming for the attention of my distracted....thoughts
to cleave to the hint of hope that it sees
Oh! they dance like "litttle people" gravelling at my painted nails and pedicured feet!!

i love the love i feel
so neat, so beautiful, so real

l love the love i feel...

Drizzle before the rain...

2009-09-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

The night is still, the moon follows as fast as my thoughts touch with the sounds of birds
of shadowed bodies

The night is still, but only one third of the moon follows, my mind tries to shrug physicality and spirituality of what dusk spills on a simple soul

My heart captures the nocturnal happenings like the inevitability of gravity

We sat together and I’m reminded of true friendship and affection
Too soon for its extremities to be explored

My mind is erased of all memory and my heart journeys for answers
This confusion is driving me insane!

But who would believe that this is drizzle before the rain?

Your willing, hewn lips dribbled words I want to hear but doesn’t surface reality

I deliberately held your hands just to rekindle what I ONCE felt with a similar "race"

What I saw in another’s eyes………
Momentarily………too discreet but clear enough to recognize its trueness

As my mind compares the present with the past it’s almost impossible to decifer which ground my feet firmly stand…..that physical place of dust or grass
Or the world in which my sub consciousness resides
The world unknown to everyone else but me

But what’s the point in delving in this feeling when it cannot be shared with another?...
I’m baffled at how the human mind operates

On these very grounds my feet grind on its debri to keep level a soul which wanders, cautiously
Seeking worthy material
To inspire, recapture and refocus

One that aspires to bring difference to the table so that the world can
explore and seek to achieve peace of mind

And hope that… this serves two fold…

Grand dad

2009-09-04T07:22:00.000-07:00

The metal plates clattered on the swinging bridge when smacked by a riveting four wheeler;cruising down its tedious length. Casting tainted air emanating from the stretch of calm waters; mothering stray matter without a sound of protest. The air faded and it's replacement hugged my senses with gracefulness.

I stuck my head through the window and allowed barely visible particles to brush my face and explore my hair follicles.
The sunset's gleam climbed on luscious green tree-tops which stand crowded on the river embankment and white birds ascended to the skies with their beaks still filled. It was then a familiar voice began to play in my head:

"Bad road, bad road what you gonna do?"

"what you gonna do when they come for you!!"

Roared the husky voice of my riant grandfather, Emile(Eh-mill) London. Driving at caution's pace; well within 40km per hour down a bumpy road leading to our usual Friday afternoon treat. The huge umbrellas, of the urban retreat, blanketed the plastic out door setting as the aroma of chinese food filled our noses.
The yellow teeth, straight- hair, slant- eyed owners always greeted us(my sister and i) with a cup of sweet bubbly aerated drink that popped on our tongues as we sipped in a way we had created and adapted.
Grandad would sometimes spend his time with our indigenous friends and conversed in a language my sister and i usually mimicked.

I shifted in the seat of the bus to occupy the vacant space next to me and smirked at the todler knawing the silk shirt on his mother's shoulders. I was immediately taken back to the house where i spent the first four to five years of my life.

The two-storey brown and white structure of fine wood-work sat on the corner of two roads; only a block away from the Roxanne Burnham Backlands commonly known as the Cane fields. The 'red-brick' roads saddled memories of kite-flying.Also, spills of swank by my sister and i which took place during our slurping and gulping 'fiesta' after a heated chase of "catcha" or riding our tri-cycle.
We caught lizards from our trees and staggered them with a piece of wood. Stole a syringe from our uncle's desk drawer, filled it with tap water and injected the hapless victims until they bloated stiff!!
For our indoor trivia, we playfully smacked grandad's round, firm tummy and sang our favourite nursery rhymes until we were chased to bed.

The yellow rays slid on trees until they were well out of sight and nocturnal creatures sang to call their friends out and send early sleepers to bed. A time that reminded me of my more blissful moments....

Being loved and not spoilt, i took time to sample my grandfather's meals when i mounted on a chair and grinned until i got my satisfying share. Got the largest gift nestled under the christmas tree and received an allowance of 10 cents every Friday to purchase two icicles before he came blowing the horn of his white Mazda 323. He would clean my fingers and dust the fibre from the Day Care mattress, out my ribbon held hair.

His eyes always smiled to brighten up a gloomy day.

His arm of correctness and righteousness was strong and dependable. His nature and character were welcomed by many and i loved him sooo much.

The familiar scent of grazing cows dampened the cloud of my dream. The moist evening sand clung to my naked toes and i swayed, briskly, down the dim lit road; through the neighbourhood i now call home.

A disturbing force of gravity pulled my right leg into a pot hole and i began to sing the chorus from a Saturdy night Tv serial...

"Bad road, Bad road what you gonna do.......?"

Naughty

2009-08-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

Clad in a spaghetti strap brown top and wholesome cotton panties
that accentuates my thighs and hugs the mouth of my upper legs!

With my hair drawn back and torso thrust forward comfortably in a one piece cushioned furniture
Tucked under a grilled and shaded window as dusk surrounds my timid soul like dew
Dew melting to steam as it confronts the heat of the room, of my body,
of the lap top?

With the glare of this wide screen technology as my company
My lips slowly visits the mouth of a water bottle; allowing every sip to stream down my throat to replenish thought and revitalize imagination

My passion is my focus
Beads of sweat trickle down by neck and flood the bridge of my nose
Feet clasped and panties neat
What on earth is causing this heat!!

Maybe it was wrong… but I invited a feeling
That flung my “guards” straight through the ceiling
I sprung up in effort to restore composure
Frantic, I sat down…
I gripped the furniture

Tossing and twisting… tossing and twisting

Deep puffs of air released insanely
But something……. is still not clear to me!!
As I heard voices grew in volume…you see
Close and strikingly familiar faces were clear and lively

Like the view of fishes through a Windex cleaned aquarium
Like sunshine after a rain storm…

The room was as bright as day
and I shifted for comfort in a another panty

and absorbed the conversation in a tone so gaily

then it occurred to me…
I was having a writer’s fantasy

Ghost of my heart

2009-08-21T07:19:00.000-07:00

The intent of dusk visibly floods the streets, falls on the window panes of nearby houses and circulates my soul.....not to transfer its DNA
but to make clear a new path, a new cause, a new day?

Slender fingers grew warm to the sentiments embroidered beneath its breast
punching unpredictable keys
puppetted by unpredictable thoughts

I sat overwhelmed, foaming with questions on the quest for answers
like a spade digging and digging to the core
one as blind as your eyes but as sharp as your motive
quivering, creeping and infrared
staring and exploring a mind of interest

and yet you are that spade...
unless welded to satisfy a different purpose
will never gather enough... to fathom person, mind nor situation at hand

i dont blame you.....which mortal can?

eyes stare back
for what it already sees
but are you ready to listen to its story?
or is it perhaps you cant endure what.... it..has..to...offer?

i squirmed in restlessness and discomfort
each turn reflecting images of a face one carefully and thoughtfully painted on a paper,
shredded to a million pieces and scattered to its deserving demise...or so i thought
but like your laughs, charm and depth; they have conveniently found each other
by the mending , knitting and weaving of old-interests new !!

here i lay
embracing the progression from bliss to reality
like a child graduating from the myth of monsters in the dark to the age of puppy love
both blooming vague detail but reveals its truth overtime...intime

here i lay
wallowing on the promising trails of a brighter tomorrow
i dwindled, to a numbing shape
in the subtle, hidden confines of my mind

A place once comfortable
Frozen memories of cold dismiss
three of which/whom you are responsible

And now disturbing the dust and dusk of past
that's swept by a feeling that may never last
though mutually desirous of a different start

You are sadly pro-nounced as ... Ghost of my heart!

Proud and free!

2009-08-06T07:08:00.000-07:00

Amidst the deep-green fields, stretching to a fainting distance buries the bones and footprints of my forefathers
My toes quivered at the loose dirt dancing under my feet
Throbbing now to the pace of my racing heart beat
I stand proud, black and worthy of this inheritance and rising knowledge to impart

Dark dust rises to re-create muscular, gyrating souls and tireless hands slashing trees, building tents, ploughing fields
And even more tender but weather-beaten hands picking cotton and dragging corn bags
the heavens darken to honor naked skins glistening with sweat
sharp leaves graze on backs throwing a fishing net
On these soaring grounds i stand proud, black and worthy

The offsprings of these hands and strength, drums a Yoruba feat.
Pulsating and gyrating in mad frenzy
Staggering rythmatically, and filling the moment, every chance they get
My people slaved, anticipated and celebrated 1838
the fundamentals of this history bids my soul free
chains burst from my ankles and wrists, freedom bellows through my soul, the mental shackles have been broken
here history unfolds

Drums ramble and rumble by hands young and old

So hang your worries on a shelf and emancipate yoself(twice)
free your minds, leap with your hearts
here is where black history starts
On these soaring grounds i stand proud, black, worthy and free!!

A night to remember...

2009-07-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

Here i sit at the center of the moving world
fermenting with excitement, love and lust

My thoughts drifted but cleaved to the five senses like
killer claws wrapped around a scrumptuous feast!

Finger nails buried itself in cushioned furniture
perhaps too deeply as fraying fibres clung to its crevice
i clenched a fist....
fighting a battle with an enemy filling my veins as fast as lightening and as intense as my love

Toe nails sunk in sand as deep as leeches on tender flesh
my mouth widened but pain struck the sound
My flimsy dress... as loose as the action of acetone on hard nail polish; swayed to the tune of the
wind...

A tune that blinds and intoxicates without striking consciousness
like Vodka and orange juice......
ONE TOO MANY

i tried to resist but stifled my senses and caused a collision with my emotions!

CRASH!!!
Smell..Lust!, Touch...Excitement!, See...Love!
they raced like water thrown down a narrow Well
i clasped my feet to suffocate a deep, throbbing of some sort
that wasn't my heart!!
taken by a force; they stumbled and fell
Can never absorb only repel
like a moment's confrontaton with heaven and hell

Hands as soft as full fresh petals.....stretched and cupped my face
And a light.....bright enough to look at and narrow enough to direct a new path

I sat here....imbibed
my vision clear but purpose in formation
the throbbing subsided
focus divided but chanelled in peaceful equilibrium
touching with meaningful insight

blanketed by this... calm night

Retribution of an absent father

2009-07-13T10:28:00.000-07:00

Mind and manners expelled the common-laws
too many have suffered his ruthless prevailing clause
But then he walked out on his family
relentless to the soaring possibilty
that this is seed for a fruitful life of misery

He rethinks his purpose but not man enough to face them
shame!!.....rotted in the crevices of his conscience
Curling in a fetal position which served as an emblem
for his ,once, well awaited return
budding comfort...which diminishes as fast as lightening
nothing averts the self-inflicted hurts

inescapable of his past
this lesson he suffers to learn

Tears trickled from the wrinkled contours of his aged eyes
each drop emanating the stench of regret
that lingered since the day he left
a stench which haunts and disturbs his peace
as if... convicted of theft

neglected six boys, three girls and a wife
almost led the woman to use the knife
took a new woman into his life
bearly comprehensive of her identity and her face the pinnacle of vanity
Cursed the hands that fed him
and scourned his bouncing offspring

then walked out
all poisonous fruits of his insanity

now no proper job he keeps
and struggles painfully to heal the flesh deep wounds
by inviting souls of confused identity to share his bed

you see... these wounds transformed to lacerations of disgust and self pity
for these reflected images of his first Be-wed

time passes........
on this bed he lay
the contours on his face deepened
his day as dark as night
future blurred but past bright
this father hopes to find his way...

To...me

2009-06-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

Her grace it held my eyes at bay
my chest would start to race
i fumble thinking what to say
i'd blink and see her face

My eyes have seen what Gods could make
that comes from deep within
oh stomach cease thy lustful quake
the arrows took the win

At night i'd close my eyes and try
to get her off my mind
but how i feel through days gone by
her heart i long to find

Misguided

2009-06-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

.....she swayed across the room to
.......capture my eyes
........slowly and skilfully to earn
..........her well-deserved prize
............i looked, she shook
..............but the flimsy dress
............... she wore above her knee
..............and under her breast didn't have to speak out
...........because even dim-lights illuminated
........the guy she danced on
.......bore features of a boy-scout
...young enough to be my son
.old enough to be your brother
.....................................................our eyes now four
................................................wondering how could a woman meet
.........................................such an unmentioned score?
.....................................and..who is.. her mentor?
..............................my first visit; her job
........................my damnation; her resolution
.....................she approached and dangled a condom for me to see
.................. brushed her scarf above my knee
.............and flung the contents of the wrapper aside
.........just as she did with her pride and dignity

....a perfect actress
..the world her stage

...a woman who never knew her worth
........and traded her soul for far less
..........than dirt
............HIV POSITIVE
..............Sliding on poles, seducing switched sexes
.... .........clad in torn panty hose
.............HER PERROGATIVE
..........Or maybe not.....
.......you guys figure the rest
.....just remember regardless of your....situation or mess
...NEVER EVER SETTLE FOR LESS

Fantasy

2009-06-07T09:35:00.000-07:00

To infringe on principled inheritance

To cast aside and turn attention away from

To endulge in that which had destroyed some

To participate and be idly indiscriminate

like a magnet it pulls closer and closer to your 'lethal' demise

Pin-pricking at your conscience

Pleading for a try.... just once

subtle and exciting

intimate and mesmerizing!!

To drift into a new dimension

Colliding with freaky thoughts of want and self-gratification

Thought upon thought

it lingers......

eyebrows raised in possible extremities

daring minds, willing whispers
clasped legs, creative callings

Opportunity knocks but no one answers

A dream in cloud

almost realistically endowed

by this spirit housed by this skin of black smoke

squirting ink which intoxicates and creates

like a whale caught in a tilapia's net

watching, wishing, waiting

to be:
creeping and striding
dressed and naked
eating and ravenously hungry
fickle and stable

Stroking impulses in a mind so gaily

All emptied in a river of fantasy

Saturated

2009-06-01T14:58:00.001-07:00

The air in the room tightened around my face

I breathed abnormally like a mutant with an enlarged heart

Pounding through my chest

Like drums held closely to my breast

I stared; nothing appeared meaningful

But me!!

The walls of the room drew closer

building tension in every way it could

I am….. Where you are……lost and seeking

I pushed the walls with all my might

I quivered and fight

Sprouting a field of roots

Nervous with freight

I am……Where you are……ANGRY

By whom?

Neither of us can presume, consume nor assume

For we….. have failed to respect

And vandalized labeled hurdles

At loggerhead’s; we willingly adjust

Too high and haughty to exchange words we once confide

Too great to show emotions…none can hide

What more do you want me to do?

Spin in your troubling winds of disaster?

Sway to your timeless, tuneless song of misery?!

I AM WHO I AM

ONCE CREPT AND WEPT

NOW WALK AND TALK

The Times are different

The leaves no longer shiver but leap to the howling winds

The skies gleam differently today

Feathered flock disperse

Herrings reign and sharks refrain

I AM WHO I AM

The shackles have broken

The slaves are free

I AM WHO I AM

I AM ME….

Sinking Softness

2009-06-01T14:54:00.000-07:00

I choose to relive the season of sinking softness

When shooting stars kissed

And silliness was in mind, a bliss

And nothing else mattered….

Not even my name on Santa’s list?!

I often wonder……..if I had allowed the valves of my heart to

re-inact that poetic part

And follow the seam which love’s passion may redeem

Just to explore the unraveling sequence

I hate to think we’ll be sour still

For with every action follows a consequence……

Missed

2009-06-01T14:44:00.000-07:00

I thought of you this morning

Holding memories that we framed in our head

And though you’ve sought a different life

I’ll never forget…… perhaps until the daisies’ roots tickle my graveyard’s bed

I thought of you this morning

And reminisced on our club- nite days-

when I stiffened with nervousness and you laughed

……....as loud and bright as the sun’s stinging rays

I thought of you this morning

Gliding on our once well weaved friendship

So close that many questioned possible kinship

Now the leaves have fallen and the insects have metamorphosised

The stars disappear at dawn’s first gaze

Still even as the days quickly drift

Time will never be enough to trim such memories

For with each thought of you; blossom new grins and new laughs

Like fresh flowers in a new vase

Innocent By-stander

2009-05-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

She stood ….at the window… pressing her finger tips against the pane

Skating down the street pavement… was a dog walking a man.
She grinned……sipping, happily,… the funny things in life
Soon after, a mother… hurriedly dragging her two year old to the pedestrian crossing…then slapped the toddler on his bottom… for crying
He threw himself to the ground and… shouted for his Dad!
She squirmed …‘How sad’

Obliquely opposite her position, painted a scene:
A man… gripped the head of his girlfriend,..planted a kiss on her
forehead and
spat in her face!
Then shouted “Get out of this place!”

The girl at the window pressing her damp fingers against the glass

She sobbed… only to hear…the turn of the door knob
Carla swung around and ran… to the open hands set before her
Without question warmth of affection,… stirred abundantly through her

Her Dad pulled the window and… leaned his head also
She stared
She smiled………nothing was a mess
She smiled…whilst viewing… the bird’s nest
She smiled…this sweet…
little child

Wolves... "Sheep"

2009-05-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

When I entered the room,
silent murmurs and whispers deafened alert ears
Though your mouths without movement
and your thoughts concealed
Your eyes never failing
glowed with gossip; motionlessly revealed

Or perhaps thoroughly evaluated for subsequent same
You approached calmly and my hands soiled with deceit
As they knit, a perfect fit
Almost swallowed this seemingly sincere bit!

Your lips dripping with false praise
Your shoulders pressed to mine
Simultaneously and skillfully
When I’m easily the prey
The next victim in line

From friend to foe
A fitting title for a seed you sow........!!

My spirit is strengthened, armor adjusted and my literary tongue
as sharp as the point of my pen
So ‘look out!' for I will be writing about you……
AGAIN
If that doesn’t help, just turn around
And you’ll see me
differently then!

A New Birth

2009-05-11T11:20:00.000-07:00

Lost in emotion, covered with reluctance
Cuddled by fingers which know every passing frozen ear and exposed cold teeth

Fingers gloved with residual wordless, soundless cries for warmth, thirst and rest
On a cushioned seat, every sound a thunderous reminder of the coming hour

Lost in emotion, cornered with reluctance, dipping in feign
Wishing it was rain!

To embrace the fraying strings of this soul to feel this place!
so bright; so light!

Or this place so bright; so light! to embrace the fraying strings of this soul?

Maybe nature would lend a healing hand and condescend
So that the light of inspiration blinds…………

My head guarded by this roof of no life, no mother,
repelling sound which
cannot be repeated
cannot be interpreted but certainly damaged until something or someone recognizes its purpose
Touch and make new again!

Like this soul
Cannot be interpreted but……

This world bears souls ravenously seeking that which exists
And that which fights for existence

I sit under these dotted skies
as its gleam weave these fraying strings to rope
Rope which cannot be damaged, destroyed or detached

A rope which sow this poetic piece
And harvested Venus’ Sheets

Sweet Woe'

2009-05-11T11:18:00.000-07:00

Inhaling deeply the morning air, blended with the loquacious sounds of winged animals as their silhouette figures synchronized on calm waters

A luminous display of a well-known saying!

Alongside this blissful scene, carved this feminine soul
Callous and graceful stepping on luscious green grass, they too erect even after the trespassing of naked feet

A feeling provoked…….relived….yearning for the caress of masculine hands which spoiled once painful ankles and soar toes
A lasting scent like the sweet- stench lingering in the thick fabric of his clothes
Caught in the depths of this cocoa brown nose

Clinging to the senses of this soul; clad in white overalls which glided ,like a raft at sea,
on shapely secrets of a purposeful woman to be!

A mind taken back to a room where she first bathed in words of affection spilling from lips of switched religion!

Lips ONCE pressed gently against her cheek causing quivers and shakes in fierce revolt
Not knowing what this wretched world holds……

Her thoughts shook by the winds of time
Time which foresees…reveals and time which heals

Fourteen months have passed even the masqueraders have changed their colourful, crafted masks

The morning air now a viscious wind
howling, screaming and casting shadows-dwarfed;
to the mercy of the ceiling

She stepped as wilted leaves swarmed the path before her
To make clear the coming of her hidden WILL

With toes nestled in the ground, persevering throughout the pain, cold and flame
Echoed a voice from the ravages of the hills
“GOD LOVES YOU AND HE’LL KEEP YOU STILL”

La Familia

2009-04-23T11:42:00.000-07:00

A heart throbbing, relentlessly to the sound of familiar voices;
holding insightful memory of familiar faces but leaves no traces of enthusiasm....her
Earlobes cold and all its "attachments"
triggering no impulse but procrastinates to burst chains around worthy reaction

Jaws widened to release a heated rush of emotions
to the brim with adrenaline,
screaming words of mortal sin!

Her face, though 'coloured' dark brown, outshines actual brightness
but doesn't even touch with superficial relevance to the moon or the sun
because she forgets !!...that the creator of these fine things is the
only 'being' to shatter a phase like this

They scream too; spitting words of societal disgust, personal discomfort
packaged with selfishness, cornered with belligerence!

"Every man for himself"

SHE screams AGAIN, resounding adversity heard even by the concrete walls!
But they chose oblivion because their....
earlobes cold, too, and all its "attachments"
every fibre of this feminine soul stood naked, unarmed and WORTHY

Targeting 'enemies' with mirrored intent!
Unconscious and apathetic... as they may seem......she,too,
hardly knew that she was slave to this inherited 'gleam'

...........................................................................................................

03-2009

2009-03-31T11:49:00.000-07:00

You see....... sometimes in my quiet moments
I close my eyes and allow my thoughts to communicate with nature

A language relative to that of a Roller Coaster ride
Wild ,exciting, filled with spontaneity but still driven with tactful sanity to
keep you on track

Even though the turns may appear or seem too risky !
Mama always told me "You mould your destiny, i only suggested a path"

But yet I've lived to see and feel life's wrath
So....I'm gonna say to you
" i suggested a solution, you do the math"

love Is........?

2009-03-31T08:57:00.000-07:00

As peaceful as tidal waves splashing gently against a rugged boat
Rocking to the rhythm of the afternoon breeze; impregnated with nature's infinite invisible anatomy
Explosive to attentive ears, leaping to ear drums, turning a tuneful key of tranquility

At sunset; the sun kisses the sea leaving orange shimmers on her cheek.... wearing a permanent mark
Like that of lipstick which at night fades but..... never disappears

As natural as day
As natural as a kiss to calm neurotic nightmares
As natural as a mother's care

Can we love like this?

Lips brushed, slightly parted to suck breaths of bubbling anxiety
clouding suspense of what's yet in store
jittering eyes, trembling hands, sailing souls
Hugging noses and bodies......... sweetly sore

Physical.....isn't it?

But.........what is love?

Love stirs and lifts the core
the core of thought and honesty

buries wrong and surface right
chemistry claps and fault, eternally, naps
showers rainbow colours of subliminal insight

Can i love?

Maybe i can kiss and be kissed
Smile and be humored
Sing and be serenaded

Touch and be......

I've grown cold; fearless and bold
Assertive and narcissistic
True love? I am optimistic

You said " I love you"
those words I've longed to hear
but withered in wait, sunk in restlessness and
died in hope

You said "I love you"
But the responsive remains ....swept from the dusty roads, gathered from seasonal winds and
scooped from a parched soul.... is not enough to even thank you for bold-ness or kind-ness or
simply for..... loving me

This is not the desired twist of things
but this is my position and the burden of what this confession
....your confession brings

Can i love?

Mustered reaction now washed to shore
To hold and calm your shaking hands
and thaw your frozen thoughts
This..... is all i can offer
This...... and..... nothing more

Another day...

2009-03-18T10:47:00.000-07:00

Tainted air swept my nostrils but not enough to devour the aroma of flavoured ice-cream
Diagonal in view.. sat an old East Indian woman possessing eyes the size of a silver headed thumb tack and as hollow as an ant- infested tree trunk.

She tugged at her receded black hair whilst her lips raced, silently.... a small way of releasing her troubles colliding with and out-numbering the characters in this lively yet gloomy afternoon scene

I felt claustrophobic and ill

My focus now, on another woman whose "behind" fell to her seat...like a ripe fruit from a tree.
Her thin, wrinkled body clad in a flimsy dress and hair,coarse grey, braided and entwined with brown streaks of thread hanging from a wide rimmed hat appearing from the 17th century! . The hat moved as her mouth danced up and down, round and round, oozing "spit-icle" which accumulated at the side of her lip less mouth. A timely, barely dental exercise on each bite on a buttered- mini sandwich.

Characters dainty, bold and others plain presumptuous!! Expressions dribbled generously from their eyes and painted brightly on their faces...

An observant character, however, clad in navy blue sat quietly inhaling a scenery of unique souls. None acknowledging her presence; most of whom not aware that's she's even there!!

But she's real enough to know that this moment cannot be rein acted, relived or replayed.

like the hours, like the moons, like the seasons
their memories will fade

Forgetting....
.... or simply not knowing that
.....this moment was made....

Moon Gazer

2009-03-13T14:41:00.000-07:00

I sat and thought of times we had
You know.......us three!
Gathered thoughts on talks we had whilst blissful to her influencial degree

Tonight she stands most bold and bright as passing clouds swayed along,
they too, in trance to her sensual song
One may ask " why do you glare at her?"
A question not even i can provide a suitable answer

Altered lives with unblemished perfection
Thrust through souls and induced an incurable infection
My place, however, is not to wear your thoughts on known facts about your moon
She has you for three nights!!
I'm infected even at noon

Leonidas you can win this fight!!!

But what i really wanted to say is
"Redeem yourself and
have a long daggering night!"

This is my poem

2009-03-05T06:21:00.000-08:00

I stand before you not as my noted profession but as a student
You see, there's still a word, a phrase, a sentence yet to be manipulated
A thread yet to be untangled
A cloth yet to be designed
A person yet to touched
A seed yet to be sowed

...................this is my poem..........

I stand before you forceful but humble
Your collective energy makes my job easy
My material undresses my emotions
What i feel, my thoughts unreel
......................................................................
Though my words maybe like a head of hair
A head of hard, natural hair
Through every sound, gesture......s-t-r-e-t-c-h of my tone
I'll define each strand just to fulfil your demand

...................this is my poem................

Tables turned; let me teach you
lend me your hand.......your mind's hand
so that i can lure you melodiously, eloquently

Take me in........every part of me
like the sweet scent of perfume, like ice-cream, like chicken supreme
like your favourite dish, like a blissful dream

Untie those hands..........let stress and frustration sink
................i want you to think...............

Lend me your hand...........your mind's hand
Trust in mine to hold and to guide
And clap to the beat of my music
All of you, not just a few

..............this is my poem.....................

There's no compromise
this is why i comprise !!
i can feel it
it's gigantic, it's energetic ,it's electric, it's prophetic, it's psychic, it's poetic, it's pragmatic
A PANDEMIC
Not to inhibit and infect but to create a whole new mindset

I can feel it........I can feel it
I ask for nothing more in return but your hands
Your mind's hands
......................THIS IS MY POEM...............

You Are!!

2009-03-03T11:12:00.000-08:00

Why am i constantly reminded of you?

Why am i assiduously seeking your influence?

Why do i feel like a leech?

Sucking up every last drop of what you willingly "pour out"

your heart wine

Your thoughts bread

Your words bitter-sweet

Vital ingredients of a recipe which, when eaten, lingers a perpetual taste of truth and introspection
None of which i can live without

Forgive me for my idiosyncrasies

like you, i too, need to shatter the walls built to shield crucial criticism

like you, i too, need to hold my own banner boldly defining my purpose and my place

like you, i too, need to 'dig' within and dust the dirt off the treasure, i know exists

like you, i too, need to claim what's mine with clenched fists

like you, i too, need to re route from the road of pessimism

like you, i too, need to avoid doubt's sinking sand

I beg of you to hold your faith

You'll always have my loyalty

I just need your hand

Look at me..........

2009-02-26T08:32:00.000-08:00

Look at me, no...... closer, so that i can peep into your thoughts

your eyes a gateway to those thoughts

But first you need to look at me

face to face

eye to eye

speak to me with sealed lips

and attentive eyes

hug me with its warmth

warmth from your 'captivating eyes'

your eyes
speaking a language well-known

readable eyes??.......saying "you're not alone"

droopy eyes, like those of Sylvester Stallone

Bold eyes??... yielding to the beauty before them

like a sharp spear thrusting through barriers

barriers of indecisiveness
barriers of womanhood
barriers of hidden affection

Holding firm; protruding, piercing through

every moment......devouring every action contemplated

Causing 'one' to deviate from consequences destined to be

no time is wasted as it crashes against a wall

once steel, now plain old sponge

Eyes exploring a world of 'lust' and tragedy
the kind that narrates my life history
like a book; with excellent calligraphy

Like a whip lash, grabbing soul and
weakening knees
an author to a new version of the "birds and the bees"

Questioning soul, in turn, showers favour
questioning soul bolting shoulder-strong
armed, too, with a spear deemed similar

"Who's to win?" is a question unanswered
for time......and only time
will either dissolve or resolve'
its outcome .........if at all

IF AT ALL...

I'm free!!

2009-02-11T16:10:00.000-08:00

I listened not; to the language of 'predatory' tongue
Lying in a tunnel of soft, kissable flesh because every word released, appeared as chocolate coated m 'n' m's

I listened not; to the preferences of 'predatory' thoughts because it came from someone i sincerely admired.......i look within and beyond the feature of gems

I listened not; to the preferences of 'predatory' mind: tennis rackets, pool sticks and cursor clicks
because i appreciated thee.....
With hovering eyes peering through settled waters and a pencil tired of gripping, slippery slender fingers
Thank you:
For sunrise and moonshine moments of walks and poetry
For text messages sent in time to comfort me
For affection enough to last!................
For ravelled thoughts of mystery

For shackles broken
Im free! I'm Free!

Kissing Hands

2009-02-11T15:18:00.000-08:00

Palm to Palm
Fingers lay lazy, limp and lifeless.....
seemingly burdened and loveless
But certainly stimulated by mutual feelings of fondness and fancy

Twingling in response to an amazing, sweeping feeling

Disembodied hands

Unravelling a clear, giant screen footage
expressing a million words
a million unspoken words

Picture perfect! Too perfect?!

Sole conscience reminded of such a feeling
A feeling provoked by simply hand holding
Kissing hands.........

Quivering in delight causing "souls" to wonder and wander
in this chilly, chilly cool night
Souls, somewhat, epiphanizing intimacy
willingly exploring a deeper meaning
intricately arousing!!

And to think i didn't want this

fooling myself with this notion
Inescapable of the mammalian's secret potion

Eyes locked....fingers tightened.....feelings hightened
like a kiss, i never had or one, perhaps, different
how quaint?....how queer?....how coy?

Kissing hands....
who could ever believe
a kiss can be like this?

Wrists in motion
Curious hands.....teasing hands.....unassuming hands
retrieving and releasing
characters within
unfolding and inviting caresses and grins

even after we were finished
i couldn't imagine us lip-locking
for this has created quite a similar effect

Fulfilling, breath-taking and
certainly mesmerizing......

The Redolent Moon

2009-02-11T13:47:00.000-08:00

Recently, i've shared the origin of my writings with a friend whom i'm elated to acknowledge as an ardent reader of my blog.
This, however, is the night that birthed the appreciation and significance of nature ;more so the full-moon. Having been privileged to listen to some personal interesting stories of another friend. I'm now compelled to treat life and its ingredients differently through which i've noted some of my very own fond memories.

She sat relaxed in a fine, wooden piece of furniture. The "chair of bliss", she called it and willingly allowed her thoughts to "engulf" the radiant, luminous figure which stood erect in the moonlight sky.The full, pale yellow beauty immediately reminded her of someone. Whom i'm sure is smiling wherever he is.His name escaped her lips... Completely aware of the phenomenal effect it has on him. Eyes a glow and legs clasped firmly together, only the heavens knew what she thought of there after!

this was written, truly, to express some gratitude based upon what we spoke about. Intrigued, he had asked for another part which i, surprisingly, whipped up in a jiffy!

Her name whispered!" was a clear, soft masculine, familiar voice. Little did she know that her dreams were yet to be realized when a warm, all ecstatically consumed figure, crept up behind her; and skilfully glided his slender fingers across her cheek and behind her ear...now revealing, a once hidden and very bashful eyes. Full of feminine boldness and bliss beyond mortal understanding!The hairs on her neck tinged in response to the amazing feeling which swept over them. They kissed...quite similar to the one on his 21st birth night celebration.Bahama Breeze was the venue. As stolen lips wrestled They both embraced a sexual experience with bitter-sweet difference, and slept peacefully that night...

i , too, found this intriguing and continued to journey the field of my imagination.

Drawn i was by the sinking softness of my pillow and moonlit beams dancing on my roof. They danced with passion, fueled with vigor. Cloudy eyes gazed earnestly, questionably loosing the battle with sinking softness.

Then! wide awake, my eye lids batted, where do you go!? aired my shaken voice; Where do you go? Now clear and curious. Only to receive a meager response; 'We'll return...! Familiar folks and frenzy await us!...We waited...I wasn't ready! i interrupted!

But before i can give voice to protest, my room went pitch black! I sat up and saw their pale yellow master taken by a cloud....i thought, 'if only life was so simple, predictable, imaginable!'

I then surrendered to sinking softness...wished thoughts of a particular, peculiar friend, who not only brought memorable delight, but life long twilight dreams...lying side by side

Rise in love

2009-02-03T08:51:00.000-08:00

From a late night social to a rocking lacquered chair

Had a bath; combed my hair

Gripped my pen, fingers tight

And started writing in this motionless, pale night

Eyes burning at 1:00am which reminds me......

my skirt!

i need to hem

Overwhelmed with emotions

Die hard emotions...

Buried and resurrected

Banished and embraced

Another hour, torn away

Pure thoughts of a better day!

'why now?' i asked myself

'why now?'..... when, i know, i placed you upon a shelf

Shrugged feelings of past, splattered on the walls

lingered and lingered

too thick 'n' hard to remove and too bright to ignore!!

too soon to inhale its pungent scent!

Haunting memories of what's yet to come

how dumb? ; a shot of Eldorado rum?

thoughts frozen and...... feet numb

A silly story misconstrued

Seeking anecdote to change the mood!

' i loved..........
i loved you ....so much

Plain english .......no french nor dutch!

A scribbled symphony;short but new

Given 'space'

And i waited, silently, in moping disgrace

Harsh reality, hitting core

i wished you hadn't tell me more

But tell me.....'Were we so meaningless?'
that you couldn't explain, could not confess?

I wrote to you;prompt and true
Blind and deaf to this so-called 'boo'

Don't worry tho'
amidst the ruins of this' lovers' den
a strong heart, 'he' had bestowed

For i will rise
Rise in love again!

Despair

2009-02-03T07:51:00.000-08:00

9:53 to 10:53

the heavier the drizzle grew; the thicker the gloom

60 minutes of horns, glaring street lights, vehicles......
everywhere
and the moon, though far, shimmered in the night's subliminal 'fanfare'

An hour redolent of romance
In the passenger seat; peeping up to the dotted skies
oblivious to a conversation solitary
only recognizing my company when wrinkled hands stretched out
to comfort me

COMFORT ME!

ME?, who appeared sane
ignorant to the world of pain?

ME? healthy and plump
Aint give a damn about the next
'dump'

'Soaking wet' from head to toe

Still to the night
Still to the flow
Still to the "knodding"

i'm now in my chair
'You're not here'

wear 'n' tear
far 'n' near
to 'n' fro

Slowly drowning
i miss you much
just so you know

Deep and wide
let me finish, ' i'll swallow my pride'
here and there
i wished this feeling can be compared!

Shake 'n' bake
Embrace me soon for heaven's sake

Calm 'n' just
'Come back, you must'
Come close, i'll try not to be verbose
(Bear with me)

i'm almost done

changed my pen
kiss of bliss
remember this!

I love you still
And i always will!

Shapeless love

2009-02-03T06:41:00.000-08:00

Bright room, dark blinds, creamy walls

Shadows creating imaginative wonders and.........slow tapping

sleepy head propped on tired hads, eyes dim and thoughts interrupted by...... tapping

............rhythmic tapping

"where does it come from?"

the night cool, inviting sound sleep

two distant hearts beating

one for the other

i lied still allowing 'you' to inhibit and manifest in my subconsciousness

( 'why?' haven't you done enough damage?')

I lied still waiting for brain to convert, translate and exhuberate poetry?!

i'm thinking of you, yes you, and all that we shared together

Tap..TAP...TAP growing in rhythm and volume as rational thinking unfolds ?? intentions

TAP! now with life and vigor

None of which i can seem to find eversince my last entry

What will resuscitate consciousness........dwindle depression and sink pessimism?

and even with this unexplained feeling i, somewhat, attract befriended and acquainted relations

i tried reaching out to you but my arms seemingly short at every attempt.

I LOVED YOU

Flooded with disappointments, i couldn't go on!

Every word uttered, fell on deaf ears and slippery shoulders

like a rolling stone, you gathered no 'moss'

I LOVED YOU....'do you hear me?'

I LOVED YOU

my soul finally afloat and unburdened

i wanted to............

hm......the time has passed!

this................this distance

my heart shrieks at incomprehensive,

indeciferable reason.......for distance

A Lover's Tale

2008-12-31T12:24:00.000-08:00

Surrounded by blinkers, awakened by the silence of the night............caressed by thoughts ignite!
Skies humble; once dark now purple
Telling tales of lovers' trails..........
nightingales
and daffodils !

I held his hands and he calmed mine...........embracing passion.... a moment divine
A mistletoe hung still........in a time..........at a time
when carolling seized and raindrops clung to shivering leaves

He stroked my cheek; i gripped his thumb
He stared intently and i grinned
He spoke and i listened..........no i couldn't
Like my toes; my thoughts went numb

I rattled on and he fixed my hair
Nocturnal creatures far and near
Communed, tunefully,
in this lovers' tale.........
they too...... with their matching pair

I clenched my fist, angry of this dream!.....this bliss!.....
hoping, someday, it'll touch with thoughts of reminisce!

He whispered my name and i did the same
His hands rest on full thighs and i felt his warmth embraced

We stepped abreast and his kiss did the rest!
He held my head against his chest and i danced to the rhythm of his beat!.......our beat!
I moved my feet.......we moved our feet
My hair now neat

......this dream?!.....this biss!.........
why do i feel like this?!

I delved in softness under my sheet
This must be real........i am complete!

Feelings grow when we're apart
Needing you and wondering, when again, we'll meet!

My Positon

2008-12-15T12:56:00.000-08:00

I've had my share and satisfied pleasure of choices careless and those clever
All cleved to sewn seed of need and greed

Maybe i can explore and evenmore
but my thoughts ravelled and being 'soar'

This is how it is, i wouldn't procrastinate
Do you fathom ? my potential "texting mate"

A Moment in Time...

2008-12-12T11:31:00.000-08:00

Giant drops of rain 'attacked' like needles in a pin cushion
Stinging skin.....cleansing soul.......retrieving "sight"
Attacked!...like an army of unarmed soldiers on ambush........ using plain skill and strength
to destroy an "enemy" momentarily unknown to self
Nature in her prime.......!
A spiritual moment in time

An 'enemy' ignoring pain and oblivious to alien intention
Hair as black as ebony......drenched and slick; streaming down exposed torso
Eyes pouring infinite concern and trickling vulnerability
Shoulders square and thoughts afloat
Gesture inexplicable but chimed
in tune........with this.........very note
Sole world, bound by feminine rhyme
A lasting moment in time

Hands clutching.......squeezing;bent elbows to palm
increasingly absorbing temperature, serenity........and the 'annoying' bumble bee
Acknowledging sweetness of nature's traditional.......... midnight.....moonlight
sure sight!........ponderous plight?!
Neither can be traded for a dollar or dime
A priceless moment in time

Response to "Absent hands......why?"

2008-12-03T11:44:00.000-08:00

You ask of me...what i'm not
Yes! i've given all of what you said a fair "shot"
Again!........you ask of me what i'm not

If you believe that absent hands is enough to sum conclusion, then let your belief transcend........
I'm no 'grabber'......i respond completely, only to feelings emanating from my supposed partner
whose embrace he selfishly lend....

Sensual whispers......if not barred by sealed lips....would have ushered desirable
grips.......!!

In "sodden" spirits you led the way......hinted "lines" in mixed array
........how am i to know that you 'craved' this way?

HANDS?..... Absent hands?
Hands explored masculine, facial curves........feverish for "opposite" hands to calm and cup flowery reserve
At times like this, it always shows...........ripple nerves and shivering toes! Hence, my uncharacteristic pose

Disappointed?.....Baffled?...No
More.....enlightened....exposed...a stir of fresh air
My answer's Yes!......i must confess!
And, honey?.........i wish you well in your futuristic quest!

Incest

2008-12-03T11:33:00.001-08:00

Trembling lips, Chattering teeth, teary eyes
Cultivated by a moment's despair
......torn dress soiled with blood; her innocence struggled to care
Mind and heart of only ten years, flooded with life's most dreaded fears

Hovering in stiff erection painted a face resembling hers
Familiar eyes gazed in jubilee!........ with intentions she thought demanded a fee!
Now aware of the knowledge rooted from a game
....she knew her childhood would never be the same

Masculine hands patted her hair
she ached......apprehensively...to relive the horrid nightmare
Confused, she knew no friend nor foe but a man who dared stoop so low!

Trying to accept the way it seemed
Mary wished it was all a dream!

Had I Your Friendship?

2008-12-03T11:11:00.000-08:00

Singing............we had a progressive group
Trinty! i remembered.....songs of all seasons we sought
"Keep it up!" our listeners would say, but collectively ensured that our ego didn't lead us astray
Laughter.........we shared even at moments when the day seemed too saturated with gloom
At times when difficulties faced us.........troubles braced us and humility tried to chase us
A smirk....Grin...or Chuckle Heavens knew we had little room

You probably don't know this but i stood up for you!
Occasions numerous.......all from associates.....erasing footprints on the trail of treachery
People who you may have labelled....... good
I didn't care......in true friendship........my friendship......our friendship.....i stood
Bearing pure thoughts of strenghtened comradery

I'm one of three......disappointed but cared....hilarious! outburst of comments you dared!
But we stuck by you because of the relationshhip we shared

Another of three, closer to you than me.....like two peas in a pod!....i'm sure you'll agree!
Hurt and bruised......trust which you abused
......she took you in.....
a promise she kept
I can only imagine, how she wept....if she wept

Now you're overseas.......a medical career you pursue
An opportunist you are......away from me?.....i'm glad you're far
I wish you well and under hands........divine........i hope you dwell

Now tell me this.....Had i both your friendship ?
Because you truly had mine

Mind Storm....

2008-11-28T05:19:00.000-08:00

Imagination as wide as the skies and thoughts as narrow as the space between love and hate. I ponder on a variety of situations and what the outcome might be, how it changes parties involved and the environment as a whole. The predictability of relationships and the inevitability of the 'four seasons'.

'Seasons' lulled in time, 'seasons' present and 'seasons' to come. Gathering a whirl-wind of thoughts........thoughts of affection and hate; idle and constructive. Thoughts intricate end extricate , exposed by brows risen in time of turmoil and jubilee!
Creating minds of conflict and contributing generously to social and personal demise while for some, chapters of happiness.

Where are you heading?!
We build and maintain monstrous characters...........characters of acquaintances, those befriended and ,sometimes, others subconsciously from self.
Change is within and omnipresent, waiting for conscious minds to unfold and invite. Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability! it comes with constant, continuous struggles.
You can change and see change, regardless of 'status': educational background and financial woes. Do not allow external forces to clip your progressive wing!

A friend once told me that the storm is heavier when it's almost over....

Working Out.......!

2008-11-25T10:58:00.000-08:00

The door screeched open as a wave of soothing, chilly breeze swiped my face....... leaving residue of moisture and smothered assurance of life! i embraced it since the rest of me was hugged with thick cotton......wrist.......ankle......right down to the soles of my feet which pressed with comfort and readiness.

Standing out on the veranda now, i tried peering through the thick " cloud" of fog which "hurdled" the entire spacious, rural area. Clearly......no sight of dawn but the glare of street lights in the distance.

White........yellow........red......blinking intermittently as if to substitute for a patriotic audience!( Well, so i narcissisticly imagined). I smirked and began, briskly on my parpet, warming up.
Ah...ah..ah!......nose tickling, eyes swimming in a river of 'tears'
Chew!....then came the long awaited temporary opening of my congested nostrils which evoked an instant headache.
I quickly adjusted the zip on my turtle-neck track suit and shoe laces then took off! first on fresh green grass which took no heed of my trespassing.
Then on tarred roads, most of it swallowed by fog, covered with red sand.

Trit........Trot.......Trit.....Trot
Woof!.....Woof!......Woof!
Tremors of fear swirled up my spine, once again, reminding me of a merciless canine encounter. I made a swift detour through an unfamiliar short-cut in effort to a narrow escape.

Tritee.....Trot......Tritee.... Trot
I continued in a slower pace trying to hold firm in weak ankles. Facing now the moon as dawn began to creep up. The full, white.........light-deprived beauty against blue timid skies. As my upper body swung from side to side in a steady rhythmic bounce, i thought of how i questioned the strenght of my abilities on track...........fueling my pace........i grew almost breathless!
.......reduced speed and stuck with the flow.
Fog still thick and air still chilly
Engines as groggy as the eerie sight of the morning hastily approached whilst fetching two blinding head-lights. I assumed it was the Fish truck........the 'rank' filled the air and even conjested nostrils!

Trit......Trot.....Trit....Trot
Feet heavy.......the needle-boring pinch of thigh muscle commomly known as 'cramps'........and the pending aroma of a hearty breakfast were no "MATCH!" with a resolute soul.

I resort to my usual chant:
one mile more.......one mile more........one mile more. Gradually feeling the restoration of energy! the finish line went blur but this time the fog hardly contributed to reason. 'third-eye' locked on goal to accomplish, accompanied with shrugged feelings of giving up!

Soaked from head to toe......immediately i felt a rush of satisfaction charged with silent compliments by passers-by and the distractive rays of nature's best friend; cracking through now brazen skies. (a neck-neck interest with the moon)......

I gushed even more knowing that i have added yet another memorable chapter to my book of accomplishments!

I had a dream

2008-11-24T12:40:00.000-08:00

Galaxy wide, stars attractive, thoughts focussed, " bodies in motion " all gathered in the 'Bliss of Nothingness'

I spun lightly in the welcoming chill and darkness of the wide seemingly never-ending tale of the night............as thoughts refused possibilities of spoken conversation and dismissed the inevitability of sleep and dawn. The "doodling" dance continued; willingly revealing blurred images of remote objects circling and somersaulting playfully in their 'dance of trance'

Blurred objects in the skies!......circling my spectacled companion in the distant midst but close enough to notice his subtle expressions.....

I stared; first feeling the nakedness of my feet then slowly dwindling knumb as if to disguise myself amongst my blurry neighbours.

I stared; forcibly enjoying the "ride" at one point......... then literally throwing myself to the winds at another
Questions tugged violently at the 'heart-shaped' lock of the "treasure chest", hitting the core of conscience, filled with answers?....

'Fortification!' went a thunderous but clear echo which, effortlessly, cast my conjested thoughts aside and grabbed, once again, my focus! i knew i confronted the word before but i was now distracted in finding the source than what it meant.
As if to ruffle its track after an indiscreet 'performance', i felt the inevitable revisit and shattered my search.
i woke up!

solitude

2008-11-19T14:49:00.000-08:00

welcoming thoughts of solitude nipping at the tenderness of lingered interests
slashing ruthlessly at feelings sprouting adrenaline...............nothing compares, motivates thus changes the mood!
Gnawing like mutant rodents set out to kill!........creeping crawling, seeking soft almost papered
remains like that of a bill

Welcoming thoughts of solitude; enveloping the moving world and to an unforbidden place then cast!
engulfing a mind attached to a fragmented heart.......fluctuated emotions coated with subtle thinking
like a ghost! hollow and aimless!...............waiting for a conscious soul to set it free!
oh how i long to be!